The Endless Search: A Memoir

In The Endless Search, poet David Ray creates a narrative that weaves its way through decades of searching: for a father, for a home, for the approval and love he is so often denied.
He tracks through a Dickensian childhood in bone-poor Oklahoma, shuffled from foster home to orphanage and back again by his hard-working but neglectful mother. During his adolescence, Ray is tormented and sexually abused by a wealthy and sadistic guardian, into whose care he was entrusted in hope for a future inheritance. He relates his experiences in a literary cult - the infamous Colony of Lowney Handy and Jim Jones - that employed the same violence often found in religious and paramilitary fringe groups. Ray unabashedly confesses to his career as a peeping Tom and opens his FBI dossier to his readers, surprised that agents followed him for years, suspecting him of "un-American" activities.
In the end, David Ray demonstrates the possibility of overcoming staggering obstacles in one's journey toward personal fulfillment.

David Ray is the Founding Editor of New Letters.