Esquire The Rules: A Man's Guide to Life

Derived from Esquire’s popular feature, this wildly entertaining, bestselling men’s manual to life in the 21st century is revised, expanded, and with color added! It now offers 668 rules in all (91 of them new to this edition), providing even more lighthearted reading, manly musings, and, occasionally, good advice. Accompanied by full-color illustrations throughout, these rules are guaranteed to set a guy straight. Here is what guys need to live by:

Rule number 2: When someone says he is “pumped” about something, it usually means he’s about to do something stupid.

Rule number 36: No matter how hard you practice, you cannot say the phrase, “Yeah, right” without sounding sarcastic.

Rule number 45: For the last time, no goddamn Speedos.

Rule number 108: The road to hell is not paved with good intentions. The road to hell is paved with smooth-jazz CDs, herbal teas, John Tesh specials, and low-fat cheese.

Rule number 154: Properly made, leftover chili gets better and better every day until the fourth day, at which point it begins its slow decline.

Rule number 59: The study of inert gases is best left to professionals.

Rule number 38: When it comes to luggage, men don’t pull.