F*Ckboys are Boring: A Gay Man's Guide to Dating (for Everyone)

“A bold book that’s part memoir, manifesto, and dating guide all rolled into one. It speaks with honesty and insight, while challenging toxic dating trends and offering a better journey through it.”
-DR. CHRIS DONAHUE, CSW, author of Rebel Love and Host of “LoveLine”

This salacious, heartbreaking, and hilarious book follows Ryan Sheldon, a gay man, brawn model (featured on billboards in Times Square, NYC), and eating disorder advocate (interviewed on the Today Show), as he shares his wild dating stories. In F*ckboys Are Boring, Sheldon offers a new way of rating dates with a compatibility scale, the first of its kind, and invites readers to create their own scale so they can make relationship choices based on their values (not just raw attraction). But it's more than love and romance, FAB is also an exploration into self-destructive behaviors (eating disorder, OCD, addiction to chaos, mental health for LGBTQIA+ people), self-worth (body image as a gay man in a larger body), and self-elevation (listening to your intuition and healing from attachment wounds) in a world that seems determined to dehumanize and diminish us. And it offers an elixir for the weary soul who wants to feel worthy of love. Because we all are.

F*ckboys Are Boring is THE guide to surviving the digital hellscape that is modern dating (for anyone who has ever dated a man...it's brutal out here!).

Who's your favorite f*ckboy? Have you drooled over a spiritual guru boy who wants to do questionable things with crystals? Did you find a fetishizer who had an obsession with your feet or watching you eat? Are you chasing the knight in shining armor so he can save you from yourself (when all he'll really do is string you along and then ghost you)? These are just a few of the f*ckboys listed in this book on the F*ckboy Wall of Shame. Yes, there are enough for an entire wall. And no, you're not alone if you've fallen for one of these gorgeous disasters. Or...maybe you are the f*ckboy. Maybe you’re the problem. It’s you (Girl, it’s all of us).

In F*ckboys Are Boring, Sheldon offers a path to healing while looking for love. This book is for anyone who has struggled with self-esteem and feeling unlovable while searching for connection in this disconnected world. Whether you’re gay, straight, bi-sexual, pansexual, or queer, this book offers reprieve from swipe culture and offers a new approach to dating. Instead of concepts like the 5 Love Languages, it's got a F*ckboy Decoder (so you know what they really mean when they say, "I've never met anyone like you before").

Sheldon draws on Pia Mellody's work about love avoidance, limerence, love addiction, and codependence while sharing his own experiences with healing trauma so he can date as a whole, emotionally regulated, confident human being.

But it’s so much more than a book about love and romance. Sheldon gets vulnerable about his struggles with mental illness, including obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), abandonment wounds, and his addiction to chaos. He shares the truth about his eating disorder recovery, how he walked away from an abusive relationship, and what it's like to date in a larger-size body in the LGBTQ community and finding love and acceptance for himself at any size. And he doesn’t hold back when he shares the wild stories from dating as a gay man in New York and West Hollywood, and the lessons he learned from those experiences.

Readers will come away with their own list of dating deal-breakers, a dating scale for rating dates, guides on how to maintain boundaries and self-respect, ways to recognize red flags (like gaslighting and love-bombing), and a toolbox of resources that Sheldon has picked up through decades of therapy. If you’re frustrated with the dehumanizing digital hellscape that is modern dating, F*ckboys Are Boring provides solace and support for the love-weary.

Sheldon is like your gay best friend, dishing on all his outrageous dating stories and spicy sexual encounters, offering guidance and wisdom, and crying with you as one heartbroken survivor to another. F*ckboys Are Boring offers compassionate hope to everyone (including f*ckboys) who is tired of the games and ready to find real love, both for themselves, and with a truly worthy partner.

Ryan Sheldon is a renowned speaker, brawn model, and a fervent advocate for eating disorder awareness and self-love. He has appeared in prominent media outlets such as the Today Show, BBC, Huffington Post, and Teen Vogue, and passionately addresses body image, self-acceptance, and self-esteem in high schools. He also co-hosted a weekly radio segment on Love Line with Dr. Chris Donaghue, focusing on body image issues, and inspires young adults by discussing masculinity, identity, and body confidence.

Sheldon’s message is one of resilience as he confronts weight-bullying and openly shares his struggles with binge eating disorder while exploring his evolving sexuality. He served as the Chair of the Ambassador program at the National Eating Disorders Association and has been on billboards in Times Square as a brawn model for prestigious brands like Hanes Underwear, Bonobos, and Target. His chapter in the book "Eating Disorders Don't Discriminate: Stories of Illness, Hope, and Recovery from Diverse Voices" offers guidance and hope to those on a similar journey. In addition to his advocacy and media work, Ryan finds solace in the company of his beloved dog, Riley, and the world of music at the piano. Ryan Sheldon's Instagram, @realryansheldon, continues to be a platform for spreading messages of self-love, acceptance, and empowerment, making him an inspiring guide for others on their path to healing and self-discovery.