Failure's Not an Option

In the thirty years I spent in Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT), I participated in some of the most highly publicized events in law enforcement history, which generated national and even international attention, including the takedown of the DC snipers. I was also involved in a hostage rescue incident by a lone-wolf domestic terrorist who the FBI determined was “the first suicide bomber with hostages in the United States” at the Discovery Headquarters Building in Silver Spring, Maryland, and the capture of a violent group of serial bank robbers featured on John Walsh’s America’s Most Wanted. These events and the 4,500 raids and barricades I participated in over my career helped to prepare me for the life-threatening medical incidents that transpired beginning in 2010 and continue to today. At the height of my career as a SWAT commander, I was struck down by two diseases that at the time were deemed terminal with no available cure: multiple myeloma cancer and cardiac amyloidosis. Doctors told me I had less than two years to live—at best. I prepared for what would be the greatest fight of my life. A career in SWAT had trained me for this fight, with its quarterly fitness tests, numerous high-risk operations, and the mindset to persist against seemingly insurmountable odds. I overcame many obstacles, including “coding” in 2013 during a stem- cell transplant that required chest compressions and saline to bring me back to life and then a stroke precipitated in 2015 by the chemotherapy I was undergoing to forestall the myeloma and amyloidosis. I applied the same expectations that I had of the SWAT Team to myself, always telling the team, “Never complain, never quit, and the mission comes first. Failure’s not an option as it relates to the mission.” My mission is simple: survive. Eight years have passed since my initial diagnosis, and I am still alive and in remission, and by all medical accounts, I have defied the odds. This memoir consists of three elements: high-profile SWAT operations; my medical journey; and lessons on fitness, diet, and drug routines that have helped me manage these medical obstacles and improve my quality of life. My hope is that by sharing these incidents in SWAT and the medical odyssey that followed, I can help others manage their illnesses, improve their quality of life, and enjoy (directly or vicariously) the high-speed SWAT experiences and the medical risks that my medical team took for me.