Shaun Smit and his family arrived in America filled with the hope of a fresh start. But only two months after stepping off the plane, their new life shattered. His nineteen-year-old son, Jesse-a fit, disciplined competitive swimmer-was diagnosed with a massive, aggressive abdominal tumor the size of a saucepan.

What followed was a harrowing six-month battle against an "impossible" medical reality. While Jesse faced grueling chemotherapy and a life-altering surgery with the tenacity of an elite athlete, Shaun fought a private, parallel war.

In this raw and deeply personal memoir, Shaun Smit pulls back the curtain on the "strong father" archetype. He invites readers into the hospital corridors at 2:00 a.m., the parking lots where his faith buckled, and the dark living rooms where he wept in secret while clinging to worship songs on repeat.

I Was Falling Apart is more than a story about surviving cancer; it is an honest exploration of:

The Tension of Faith: How belief and absolute terror can inhabit the same heart at the same time.
A Father's Helplessness: The agony of watching a child suffer and the realization that staying present is sometimes the hardest-and most important-thing a parent can do.
Hidden Preparation: How years of "unrelated" discipline and quiet spiritual promptings were actually God's way of arming a family for their darkest valley.

Jesse didn't just survive; he thrived. But the road to that miracle was paved with tears, financial terror, and the kind of fear that never truly leaves.

If you are currently in your own valley-scared, exhausted, and trying to believe-this book is for you. It is a reminder that you are not alone, that miracles are still possible, and that even when you are falling apart, there is a hope that holds fast.

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We first started out as ?The Paperback Exchange,? a chain of physical bookstores where we would part exchange your beloved books for new stories to transport you to faraway places. However, as shopping started to evolve to online shops and marketplaces, we bid our stores goodbye to become ?PBShop.? This transition has only allowed us to blossom as we now ship thousands of titles to book lovers across the globe. We pride ourselves in being a community of local book lovers which allows our passion and devotion to shine in everything we do. In 2020 we not only celebrated our 20th birthday but our 1st birthday as being completely employee owned after becoming an E.O.T in September 2019. We are proud to be different and embrace standing apart on a book mountain by working from a virtual inventory which allows us to provide thousands of books that may be difficult to get for your bookshelf or your studies. Working with a number of different suppliers allows us to explore other avenues such as puzzles, sheet music and even stationery so we really do have something for everyone. Life is about being versatile in all realms of existence. If this is your first visit or you are a returning customer, we would like to welcome you to the PBShop family, for there is no friend as loyal as a book. We are a company who put our customers at the centre of everything we do as we understand the importance of reading because once you learn to read, you will forever be free. There are a whole lot of things in this world of ours that we are yet to explore, which is why we will forever inspire curious minds.

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