The Father-Daughter Dance: Insight, Inspiration, and Understanding for Every Woman and Her Father

A critical examination of the patterns of father-daughter relationships from a historical, cultural, and social perspective discusses the impact of potentially damaging patterns of behavior and feelings on every aspect of women's lives.

In a revision of psychological theories that give mothers, as primary caregivers, the leading role in a child's emotional development, the authors argue persuasively that a woman's early relationship with her father exerts major influence on her approach to life. Most fathers play small parts in the daily lives of their daughters, while mothers are intimately involved in their daughters' everyday struggles of growing up. Thus fathers are likely to become larger-than-life figures--heroic or flawed but indisputably powerful--in their daughters' fantasies, given crucial roles that remain untempered by reality. Freelance writer Goulter and psychotherapist Minninger ( Make Your Mind Work for You ) describe six patterns that define many father-daughter relationships--e.g., Ruined Father and Rescuing Daughter, Abusive Father and Victim Daughter--and illustrate each with examples from history, literature and film. Calling on recent research studies and case histories, they also suggest ways in which both fathers and daughters can break out of limiting patterns to build authentic, unique relationships. A cogent, provocative and helpful volume. Psychotherapy Book Club selection.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Coming to terms with dysfunctional father-daughter relationships. Drawing on myth and legend, fiction and drama, biographies of the famous, and case histories of patients in therapy, psychotherapist Minninger (whose patients provide some of the case histories) and freelance writer Goulter distinguish six common patterns of behavior characterizing unhealthy father-daughter relationships. They include: ``lost father/yearning daughter''; ``abusive father/victim daughter''; ``pampering father/spoiled daughter''; ``Pygmalion father/companion daughter''; ``ruined father/rescuing daughter''; and ``anguished father/angry daughter.'' Glamorous examples abound: Gloria Vanderbilt and Marilyn Monroe are seen as fitting the lost/yearning pattern, and Jackie Kennedy is described as belonging to the pampering/spoiled one. Freud, King Lear, and F. Scott Fitzerald are similarly analyzed and put into their proper slots. Readers are urged to look for patterns that strike a familiar chord so that they can take steps to end the rigid pattern, or ``dance,'' and develop healthier relationships. To aid the healing process, the authors recommend a technique called ``redecision therapy.'' Used by Minninger in her own practice, it takes individuals back to a time when an unconscious decision was made, and enables them to make a more appropriate and conscious one in the present. Simple guidelines for practicing the technique are spelled out, with encouraging examples provided by Minninger's patients. The writing style is easy, with lots of catchy headings to break up the text; the examples are often entertaining, though frequently superficial; the tone is reassuringly upbeat. The authors push all the right buttons, but the concepts aren't really new nor the insights very fresh. -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

This intriguing, insightful, and interesting study explores multifaceted aspects of father/daughter relations. The thesis is that this relationship, or its lack, is intrinsic to a woman's development and colors her attitude toward all the men in her later life. The authors develop a series of fascinating paradigms, among which are the lost father and his yearning daughter; the abusive father and his victim daughter; the pampered father and his spoiled daughter; and the Pygmalion father and his companion daughter. Examples of each prototype are taken from therapist Minninger's case histories, as well as from a broad spectrum of literary characters. Though the proposed solutions to problematic relationships are somewhat weak, the book is recommended for psychology collections for its excellent analysis of the topic.
- Carol R. Glatt, VA Medical Ctr. Lib., Philadelphia
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.