Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It?

* Now available in paperback with a new afterword. 

Learn how to fight better and end your arguments with your partner feeling closer, more loved, and better understood.

We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don't we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight or a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their 10 most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and successfully close hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way.

A USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestseller, Everybody Fights will help couples learn how to:

• Use "magic words" for healthy conflict resolution
• Address unspoken and unrealistic expectations
• Banish the three Ds of unhealthy communication—distraction, denial, and delay
• Carry individual baggage while helping your partner deal with theirs

Penn and Kim want you to know you're not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it!

Kim Holderness was born and raised in Sarasota, Florida, and was a competitive dancer (once crowned Miss Dance Florida).  She went to the University of Florida, then began her career in TV journalism. Penn and Kim met in Orlando while working in local news and were married in 2005. In 2013 they left the TV business and launched a digital content company called Greenroom Communications. Part of that launch was a video called “Xmas Jammies” that went viral, and led to appearances on GMA, the Today Show, Fox News Channel, and CNN. (Apparently Xmas Jammies are bipartisan.)  The Holderness Family currently lives in Raleigh with their dog, Sunny.

Penn Holderness was born in Durham, North Carolina, to a Presbyterian minister and a public school teacher. He was super into Boy Scouts, show choir, and synthesizers as a kid, so he wasn’t exactly a ladies’ man. He went to the University of Virginia, then started a two-decade career in TV journalism. Penn and Kim met in Orlando while working in local news and were married in 2005. In 2013 they left the TV business and launched a digital content company called Greenroom Communications. Part of that launch was a video called “Xmas Jammies” that went viral and led to appearances on GMA, the Today Show, Fox News Channel, and CNN. (Apparently Xmas Jammies are bipartisan.) The Holderness Family currently lives in Raleigh with their dog, Sunny.