Finding Jesus

Some people fall from grace.

Ben Fuller never had it to begin with.

Ben Fuller had the voice. He had the drive. He had the kind of grit that only comes from growing up on a Vermont dairy farm before the sun rises, throwing hay bales in the dark, learning early that the world rewards those who show up.

He showed up. Every single time.

And it still was not enough.

Because the one thing Ben Fuller needed most was not something any amount of showing up could earn. It lived in a silence he carried from boyhood — a silence so familiar he had stopped noticing it was destroying him.

By the time he reached Nashville, he had already lost more than most people know. He had already stood at an edge that most people never come back from. He had already buried his best friend — a man who, it turned out, had been praying for Ben every single day without Ben knowing it.

Prayers that appeared to go nowhere.

Prayers that were going exactly where they needed to go.

FINDING JESUS: Ben Fuller's Extraordinary Story of Faith, Redemption and Grace is not the story of a man who cleaned himself up and found God as a reward for good behaviour. It is the story of a man who was found — in the middle of the mess, in the middle of the running, in the middle of a Nashville night that looked like every other Nashville night until it suddenly, irrevocably, was not.

This is a book about what grace actually looks like when it arrives in real life. Not the greeting card version. The version that shows up at a dinner table. That waits through fourteen years of saying no. That answers a prayer spoken by a dead man.

This book will ask you questions you may not be ready to answer.

What are you using to fill the silence? How long have you been running? Who is praying for you right now that you do not know about?

And the question underneath all the other questions — the one Ben Fuller spent thirty years trying to outrun:

Does anyone actually love me?

If you have ever asked that question in the dark — this book was written for you.

If you love someone who is asking it right now — this book was written for them.

If you work in addiction recovery, prison ministry, pastoral care or crisis counselling — this book belongs in your hands and on your resource shelf.

Inside these pages you will find:

• The unvarnished truth of what addiction actually looks like from the inside — not the dramatic collapse, but the long, invisible, functional deterioration that fools everyone including the person living it
• The story of a friendship that kept praying when prayer seemed pointless — and what those prayers eventually produced
• The single evening that redirected the entire trajectory of a life
• What redemption costs and what it gives back
• Why the men behind prison gates respond to Ben Fuller's story in ways that violence and punishment never managed to produce