The Fire I Fed

In this gripping memoir, Andrew W. Seefeld traces the hidden emotional architecture that shapes our lives long before we recognize it. Through an unflinching personal narrative, he examines how early wounds give rise to protective strategies – achievement, control, perfectionism, and emotional withdrawal – that help us survive and even succeed.

But what happens when the very strategies that once protected us begin to consume us?

From a near-fatal collapse to the slow work of rebuilding, Seefeld explores the descent into addiction not as a moral failure, but as one expression of a deeper attempt to regulate unbearable emotional pain. More than a story of recovery, this book becomes a testimony to reckoning, responsibility, and the courage to turn toward what we once tried to escape.

Ultimately, The Fire I Fed is a meditation on healing, connection, and the possibility of returning to ourselves.

Andrew W. Seefeld, MD, FACEP, FASAM, is a board-certified emergency and addiction medicine physician. He serves as Medical Director of the Emergency Department at Speare Memorial Hospital, Associate Medical Director of the New Hampshire Professionals Health Program, and Clinical Assistant Professor of Emergency Medicine at the University of New England College of Osteopathic Medicine. He advocates for compassionate approaches to healing that honor both body and mind. The Fire I Fed: From Ashes to Awareness is his first book.