Five Countries, Countless Cock-Ups

Dog Tags — a brutally honest, laugh-out-loud RAF memoir.

From a council-house childhood to the parade square and beyond, Five Countries, Countless Cock-Ups drags you through the mud, sweat and mess-room mayhem of service life—raw, unfiltered, and told with the kind of gallows humour only the ranks understand. No gloss. No spin. Just what really happens when you swap civvy shoes for boots and learn to march, shoot, graft, and keep your head when everything kicks off.

Written by an RAF veteran, this is the kitbag full of stories you don’t hear at recruiting offices: the beasting of basic, the pride of passing out, the mates who become family, the postings that turn your world upside down, and the moments—painful and priceless—that stay with you long after the uniform comes off.

• Relentlessly real: training, tours and the darkly funny bits in between.


• Front-row banter: pranks, close calls and the camaraderie that gets you through.


• Life beyond the gate: love, loss, family and the hard choices no one prepares you for.


• Heart and bite: equal parts belly-laugh, wince and gut punch—often in the same page.

If you like your military memoirs straight-talking, fast-paced and fiercely human, Dog Tags will have you howling one minute and glassy-eyed the next. It’s for those who served, those who never came home, and everyone who wants to know what service really feels like—from the inside.

Content advisory: adult humour, strong language, and frank discussion of injury/medical detail.

Grab your copy now and step into the stories behind the stripes.