CHAPTER 1
Day 1: My self-esteem is growing day by day
Your self-esteem is greatly influenced by the experiences of your childhood.Experiences such as abuse, including emotional abuse or trauma are deeplystored in your subconscious mind. In the same way, the absence of emotionalneeds, such as affection, leave their imprints in your subconscious mind too.
However, if you had a happy childhood there is still a chance to develop lowself-esteem in other areas of your life. These are divorce, bereavement of aloved one (person or pet), redundancy, bankruptcy or eviction from yourown home.
I still remember how my self-esteem decreased. When I entered primaryschool I had a healthy self-esteem. I was bubbly, cheerful and was friendswith everyone in my class. This changed when my maths teacher told methat I am useless at the subject. I would be able to learn foreign languages,but I would never learn the science of mathematics. That said, I took it toheart and believed what she said. She was the life experienced person afterall. Being told at an early age that I am no good at mathematics influencedmy decision not to apply for any job that would involve mathematics. In theend, I opted for a job in sales.
This scenario shows that children are influenced by adults at an early age.Most of us believe what we are told is true. With every unsatisfactory examresult in mathematics my self-esteem sunk more and more. I felt as if I havefailed.
Here is another story which one of my best friends has told me.
Helga took private guitar lessons since she was eleven years old. In her groupwas just her and another girl. They both loved learning to play the instrument.Helga's teacher seemed to have a crush on her. During one of the lessonshe made a comment about her tight t-shirt. He thought that she looks like areal scout. He was breathing down her neck while he was showing her newaccords on the guitar. Helga was not prepared for those unexpected advances.She confided in her parents. But they thought their daughter is making upexcuses to cancel her guitar lessons. However, my friend stopped attendingthe classes in the end.
These two scenarios show that your low self-esteem has its roots in childhood.However, your self-esteem can crumble at any stage in your life.
Here are possible options:
• Divorce or relationship break-up
• Redundancy
• Failing your exams
• Bankruptcy
• Poor self-image
• Not feeling good enough
• Being humiliated in front of other people
Your self-esteem may have suffered in recent times, but I am sure that youhave been able to succeed in several situations. You may not think that this isimportant to note, but it is. The more you think about the success you alreadyhad the more your self-esteem will rise again.
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Theta Healing™—Exercise
Digging suggestions:
I am good enough. I am loved. I am respected. I blame others (myself). Icriticize others (myself).
Useful digging questions:
When did my self-esteem start to crumble?
How did I feel?
What happened?
When did it happen?
And then what would happen?
How do I know that?
What is the worst thing that could happen? (By asking this question repeatedly,you begin to dig deeper and deeper to the key core belief).
Keep asking open questions (How ...? When ...?, What ...?, Who ...?,Why ...?)
1. Using the 10 steps of successful self-healing
2. Connect with the Creator of All That Is by going up to the 7th planeof existence.
3. Allow the Creator to take your awareness to the relevant part of yourbrain.
4. Witness the healing until complete.
5. Ground yourself.
CHAPTER 2
Day 2: I know how to live my life without stress
It may sound unusual, but my frustration about being overweight stresses meout. Does that apply to you too?
It stresses me out because I don't know why I can't overcome my foodaddiction. What I do know is that whenever I eat comfort food I feel pleasureat first. A short while later I feel guilty for eating thousands of calories again.
Let us take a burger meal with fries and a soft drink. This meal has not onlyzero nutrition to offer, but feeds you with thousands of calories. They settlenicely on my hips. And that is where they stay for a very long time.
Guilt, frustration stresses me always out. I am frustrated because I don't knowhow I got so big in the first place. I don't know how to tackle the problem. Ifeel that there may be something wrong with me.
There must be something wrong with me because people in the street seemto stare at me because I am fat. The more often people stare at me I feel moreand more rejected by society. I don't go out anymore. Whenever my friendsask me to join them on a night out I would find an excuse not to go. Most ofmy female friends were slim and I felt that I didn't fit in with the crowd I usedto hang out anymore. I felt that they would judge me for being too fat.
When I got even more stressed due to work and commuting, I only foundcomfort in eating takeaway food and a bottle of wine. I enjoyed nights-in infront of the TV. This was my kind of relaxation after a hard day at work. Icouldn't be more wrong.
I came to a point when I noticed that my hips had grown over my trousers.It was an ugly sight. I was not able to wear neither my size 12 jeans nor myskimpy T-shirts and blouses anymore. I had only two choices. First choicewould be to accept that I have reached size 14 to 16, depending on the clothesI would try on. Or I had the choice to find out the reasons for my compulsiveeating habit.
I started trying out various suggested diets in magazines. When the dietsfailed I joined a weight loss group. I learned from those diets that I have torestrict my calorie counting and I would reduce my weight. The thought ofcounting my calories stressed me out again. Other diets suggested that I haveto omit eating certain foods. What? I thought I can't eat what I like? Stress setin again. Weight loss gurus all over the world suggest joining the gym to burncalories. When am I supposed to go to the gym? I work a forty hour week. AllI can think of is stress. And that triggers my compulsive overeating habits.
What keeps your compulsive overeating going? What kind of stress triggers it?
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Theta Healing™—Exercise
Digging suggestions:
Success is mine. I know how to live my life without stress. I know how torelax. I am important. I identify stress and release it.
Useful digging questions:
When am I stressed?
Why I am stressed?
When was the first time I felt stressed?
How do I feel when I am stressed?
What stresses me out?
How do I know that?
What is the worst thing that could happen? (By asking this question repeatedly,you begin to dig deeper and deeper to the key core belief).
Keep asking open questions (How ...? When ...?, What ...?, Who ...?,Why ...?)
1. Using the 10 steps of successful self-healing
2. Connect with the Creator of All That Is by going up to the 7th planeof existence.
3. Allow the Creator to take your awareness to the relevant part of yourbrain.
4. Witness the healing until complete.
5. Ground yourself.
CHAPTER 3
Day 3: I know how to implementexercise into your daily life
If you are like me, than you have already said too many times that you don'thave time to exercise. I know exactly where you are coming from. I used tosay that I have too much work to do. I work too many hours in the work. Ineed to relax when I am off work.
What does it look like when you relax? What do you do to relax? For me it meantthat I would sit on my comfortable sofa and watch morning TV which that wasextended into the afternoon. Watching TV can make you hungry. Researcherssay that the more entertaining the program is the more you feel you need toeat. Whenever I watch a food commercial I can't help going into the kitchento find something tasty. And that is usually not an apple or raw vegetables. Mytaste buds are demanding something like crisps or taco bells with a spicy dip.This is one of the reasons why I have gained weight so rapidly. No exercise,watching TV all day, and eating crisps and other high calorie foods.
Apart from not having the time I always was good at procrastinating. I alwayswould say that I begin to exercise tomorrow. And straight away I came upwith an excuse not to begin the next day because I would meet up with friendsfor a drink and dinner. Then I decided to start going for walks the next week.In the meantime I consumed pizzas, a bottle of wine and any other processedfood I can imagine. When the next week arrived I was again not ready to startmy exercises. I kept putting it off week by week.
The key to success is to take baby steps every day. First, determine what yourlong term goal is. Do you want to be physically fit? Or do you want to reduceyour weight because you are getting married? As soon as you have establishedyour goal you need to decide by when you want to have achieved it. In threemonths? In six months? In one year?
Promise yourself to start going for your first walk TODAY. Don't postponeit until tomorrow just because it is raining outside. It is fun going for a walkin the rain. Take your boots and your umbrella and off you go! Walk for justten minutes and then walk back home. Increase your daily walk time by tenminutes. Burning off calories depends on how quick you walk.
A pedometer helped me to count the calories I lost. This pedometer alsohelped me to stay motivated. Because the more calories it showed me I hadlost, the more I wanted to walk. Try it out if you like.
Naturally, you will experience set backs from time to time. These setbackscan be connected with work trouble, relationship issues, or with difficultiesin paying your bills. Anything can throw you back into your sofa and youwatch TV again, ruminating over the problems in your life.
When you experience any problems in your life your emotions come tothe fore. Anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, grief, or resentment plays animportant part in overcoming procrastination. Any emotion or belief can getin the way of succeeding in engaging daily exercise.
The best way to find out what emotion or belief is keeping you from exerciseis to find out what emotions it is that is holding you back. Find out whenthe problem not to be motivated started. Who is playing a significant rolein your de-motivation? How did you feel when it happened? What would bethe worst thing if you would never exercise again? What would be the longterm implications?
Once you have found out what the key belief is in your situation you canmove on. After releasing beliefs and replacing them with positive ones, youhave gained new motivation.
You have achieved some success in regaining your motivation. How do youcelebrate this little success? With every success I had in doing exercise Irewarded myself with a hot soaking bath and burned aromatherapy candles.
On other occasions I bought myself that book I wanted to read for a longtime. Other options are treating me to a new manicure or massage, buying anew dress, or going to the cinema. It is needless to say that the reward shouldnot be processed foods of any kind. You can work towards new rewardsevery week.
My own experience is that reducing your weight and getting fit does nothappen overnight. It happens gradually. Begin with utmost determinationand keep your goal in mind. I am sure you will succeed.
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Exercise:
1) Make a list of all the excuses you have not to do exercise.
2) Now make a list of how you can make time to implement exerciseinto your life TODAY!
3) What would you like to achieve with exercising? Do you want toexercise for health reasons? Or do you have other goals?
4) By what month do you want to have achieved the goal of exercisingand reducing your weight?
* * *
Theta Healing™—Exercise
Digging suggestions:
I know how to live my daily life doing exercise. I love exercise. I know howto implement exercise into my daily life. I like to exercise to relieve stress. Ilike to exercise.
Useful digging questions:
What is holding me back to start exercising regularly?
What would happen if ...?
What happened?
What happened next?
How do I know that?
What is the worst thing that could happen? (By asking this question repeatedly,you begin to dig deeper and deeper to the key core belief).
Keep asking open questions (How ...? When ...?, What ...?, Who ...?,Why ...?)
1. Apply the 10 steps of successful self-healing
2. Connect with the Creator of All That Is by going up to the 7th planeof existence.
3. Allow the Creator to take your awareness to the relevant part of yourbrain.
4. Witness the healing until complete.
5. Ground yourself
CHAPTER 4
Day 4: My body is beautiful
Whether you think your body is beautiful is influenced by quite a few factors.To me, the main factor of all is the mass media. Stick thin models on the catwalk and in magazines portray an incorrect image for teenagers and youngpeople in their twenties. Girls as young as ten years of age go on diets forthey want to look like their "role model" on the catwalk.
Unfortunately, even mannequins believe that being skinny equals confidence.But true confidence comes from the inside. If you accept yourself for theway you look, know your qualities as a human being, which means yourpersonality and your intelligence, you will find it easier to find your bodybeautiful. Being beautiful does not mean that you can wear size 0. I once wasvery skinny. I reduced my weight by three stones and I looked very pale in myface. I had no curves left, but I thought that is what a woman needs to looklike. My male colleagues acknowledged that I had the willpower to stay on ahealthy diet for more than six months. But they also said that I don't look likea woman anymore, because I now have a flat chest and a flat bum. They askedme to gain some weight. So I did and I actually feel more feminine with mycurrent curves. The picture of attractive skinny women has been impressedon us by the media. Real life men prefer "real" women with curves.
Please note that you have a beautiful body, no matter your dress size or visible scars youmight have.
Many of you remember the British actress Dawn French. She is known forher role as a female vicar in the British series "The Vicar of Dibley" andvarious other roles in commercials and so on. She is a rather big lady, but shebursts with confidence, self-belief and humour. She is the proof that a womandoesn't need to be thin to be confident and have self-belief. Her laugh andhappiness is irresistible.
Dawn French believes in herself, her values and qualities as a person.
The way you feel about your body image can be influenced by your parents'expectations. Their expectations and opinions about being slim also have beenformed by their childhood experiences and the media. Unhelpful beliefs aboutlooking slim and trim may give you the feeling not be loved and accepted asyou are. It does not make you feel good. Being criticised by your own motheris never good. Our mothers often don't realize that their criticism can lead tolow self-esteem, frustration and low moods. To make yourself feel better youeat comfort food. Reducing your weight may be a long way off. But we can'tblame our mother for the well-meant suggestion to reduce our weight. Sheloves you and often she also believes in what the mass media tell us how tolook. What I am saying is that our mothers want the best for us. They pick upother people's opinions from magazines, the news or the internet. They areas easily influenced by all the media frenzy as you are. The secret to success isto take one step at a time. A quick fix diet does not bring the results you aregaining for. Slowly does it, reducing your weight by one pound a week.
The puberty often sparks unhappiness about one's body image. This is acrucial time in your life. You might or might not be aware that the transitionbetween childhood and adulthood is not easy. For most young women thistime can be daunting and scary. And yet it can be exciting because you haveentered the world of a grown up woman. Young men will acknowledgeyou for being feminine and attractive. It might not be your opinion aboutyourself. But people always see you differently than you see yourself. Beproud of your curves! Your body is beautiful the way it looks. Your curvesare attractive. Celebrate them by buying yourself a flattering dress.
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Mirror exercise:
This is the "My body is beautiful—exercise": Stand in front of a full-lengthmirror or the largest you have. You can be dressed.
Advice: Your emotions will surface. Tears might come up. But this is all partof the healing process. I suggest that you have your notebook nearby andwrite down the emotions that will occur.
Begin by looking into the mirror and look at your body and face.
Then, say the following:I love my eyes. They are bright blue and have dark long eyelashes.
I love my teeth. They are white and straight.
I like my legs. They are well-formed and sexy.
I like and accept my hands. They are small and feminine.
