Fuck you Cancer. and the cell you rode in on: Humorously toxic

My humorously toxic journey with cancer.

FUCK YOU CANCER.. AND THE CELL YOU RODE IN ON FINDS LAUGHTER IN LIFE'S TOUGHEST BATTLE....
Ritch Gaiti transforms a deeply personal cancer journey into a witty and uplifting memoir that helps readers face adversity with resilience, perspective, and humor.'

“Think of it this way,” my Thoracic Surgeon explained. “The right lung is divided into three sections, called lobes. Each is about the size of a folded up slice of pizza.”He saw the curious look on my face.“Regular, not Sicilian,” he clarified. “It’s very hard to fold Sicilian slices.”I nodded; clearly he had been trained well.* * *Doc P, my Pulmonologist, studied the computer screen. This could not be a good sign. Of course, just having a Pulmonologist is not a good sign. If I had a list of Things I Don’t Want to Have, Pulmonologist would be near the top, way ahead of Periodontist and a notch behind Criminal Lawyer. Of course, I wouldn’t want to have to have a Parole Officer, a Bankruptcy Attorney or Shingles either. * * *I had never given much thought to the nature of my demise, should that ever occur. However, if I had conjured up a list of potential causes, cancer would not have even been considered for consideration. However, if it had appeared on my list as one of my potential executioners d’ jour, it would have been in the quest of completeness, not because I considered it within the realm of possibility. And, certainly it would have fallen to the very bottom, right after being eaten by sharks in my basement.To be clear, I have never had sharks or any other predatory fish in my basement, except for Attila, my kosher goldfish. Moreover, I live over forty miles from the ocean and there is no way that a shark could get to my house — and if it did, it is unlikely that it could open the basement door. The prevailing logic notwithstanding, I opted for shark-proofing my house as part of the termite guarantee. To wit, I had a slightly greater chance of being attacked by sharks in my basement than getting cancer. I was wrong. An entertaining and informative trip for anyone who has had cancer or plans to never get cancer or just likes to be entertained.**Also published under the title: "Welcome to Cancerland" for folks who prefer a less toxic title :).

Ritch focuses on telling compelling stories depicting the real world through unique perspectives. He writes in a variety of voices and genres from humor to drama, both non-fiction and fiction. He is an author, artist, and an alumnus of Wall Street and has written novels, screenplays and many magazine articles and has been featured on national radio and TV, including an appearance on the Today Show.
 
Ritch loves to channel his unique characters - whether they be a comical washed up copywriter, a gambler from Brooklyn, a Native American lawyer, and everyday guy who has an entertaining battle with cancer, or, in The Strawberry Road, an undefined protagonist who observes and absorbs the natural world that is often missed. Ritch doesn't write about his characters -- he is the character and shares his emotions, confusion, drive and obstructions.
 
Ritch is also a recognized artist focusing on depicting the ethereal west in another time, another place. He exhibits across the U.S. in several galleries and museums. His artwork can be viewed on gaiti.com. Books are available through major outlets as eBooks and paperback (through Amazon).
 
Ritch Gaiti's published books:

-The Strawberry Road: a spiritual adventure through discovery of the world as we know it but as we rarely see it. "I reached skyward to touch the universe . . . it wasn't far at all."

-F*ck you Cancer ... and the Cell you rode in on:  Humorously toxic

-The Jewolic . . .Conundrums of a Half-Jew:  a humorous romp through religious ambivalence.

-The Big Empty:  A gritty lawyer uncovers an ancient conspiracy and the betrayal of a man and a nation in a socially significant mystery/thriller.

-Dutching the Book: A NYC fireman schemes a way to beat the track in an American classic of four lifelong friends, betrayal, gambling, romance and the best horseplayer to ever play the game.

-Tweet: humorous fiction about one average guy who changes the world because he didn't know that he couldn't.