Fun? But We're Married!: A Wise and Witty Guide to a Lasting Marriage

Co-authored by long-married (54 years) Columbia University professors of psychology, Fun? But We're Married! is about what it takes to sustain a healthy and happy marriage. Emphasizing the value of having fun together, Lois and Joel Davitz also suggest that more communication is not always better; you can be just too sensitive; your marriage can survive a few good fights--if you know the rules; getting out of sync is not necessarily fatal. Drawing on their own experience of life together and many years of professional research into why marriages last or disintegrate, the Davitzes provide a wise and witty guide--for those about to marry--married couples experiencing stumbling blocks--and couples who'll enjoy looking back with the perspective of years and a touch of laughter. From the Introduction . . . We believe that marriage should be a long, happy honeymoon that grows stronger with the passage of time. And it can be. It won't, of course, be all that easy. There will be ups and downs. We know as well as anyone that a lasting marriage is no snap. It takes more than inertia, a handbook of bedroom techniques, a cold blast of economic pressure or the threat of family or religious sanctions. You have to believe that a lasting and happy marriage is possible for you and most importantly you have to believe that it is worth the effort.

Lois Leiderman and Joel Davitz were married on September 8, 1945 at the United States Naval Base on St. Simon's Island, Georgia, where Joel trained to serve as a naval pilot during World War II.

Both worked for more than 30 years at Teachers College, Columbia University, where Joel served as a professor of psychology and education and as the Chair of Clinical Psychology. Lois worked as a research associate in psychology and education.

The Davitzes began studying the factors that make relationships flourish or fail in the mid-1960s after several friends endured divorces. They have collaborated on 17 books focusing on relationships between couples and families, including Swing in Sync: Men and Women in Love, and Making It: 40 and Beyond - Surviving the Mid-Life Crisis.

In addition to their writing, they also collaborate on portrait paintings, having sold over 1,000 pieces of their joint work at weekend art shows.

Joel Davitz and Lois Leiderman Davitz have two grown sons and three grandchildren. They live in Somers, New York.