CHAPTER 1
No Joints, No Judgment
Welcome friends! I'm so glad that you've chosen this guide to help you on your journey.
Just a bit of housekeeping – as it says above, we have no cannabis. This is not a book about cannabis. If that's what you're here for, sorry. You might as well keep reading since you already bought the book.
Secondly, as my mother pointed out when I first told her the title, we will not be judging people or "stoning" ourselves here. There will be no statements about getting better, fixing yourself or being broken in any way. We all have a journey. Yours is yours and mine is mine. We are all the stars of our own stories and no matter what challenges life brings, you can always count on your powerful spirit to keep you going. You can always do a comeback tour.
I first started learning about using the energy in stones to enhance my own energy when I was in my late twenties in New York City, in a store in the West Village. I was ooing and ahhing over jewelry when I picked up an amber ring. The woman behind the counter took out a book and started reading the "properties" of amber – Increases life force ... finding inner freedom ... energetic protection from negative forces (Source: The Pocket Book of Stones). I was like "Sign me up. I want all of that. I'll take it." In hindsight, it was a great way to sell jewelry.
Salesmanship aside, the experience opened my eyes to the idea that there is something very precious in semi-precious stones. Something more precious than their financial value. Until then, I looked at everything other than a diamond as being a space holder until my diamonds arrived. The day I put on that amber ring was the day my Hippie Diva was born. It was the first day I began to consciously work with the energy of stones.
Since then I have learned a great deal more about the power of stones and crystals. I have learned how to find healing of body and spirit. I have learned how to create the life I dreamed of. I have learned to create a life that rocks.
It was while sitting in a weekend workshop run by my friend Jenn August, I realized that it was time to write this guide. I decided to write it because of the numerous conversations I find myself in with friends and strangers about stones over the years. It happens no matter where I am: in the security line at the airport talking to a TSA agent, at the farmer's market buying my greens for salad, with the librarian of a school I was touring, at 30,000 feet with the pilot sitting next to me – conversations about stones come up. I'm never really sure how it happens, it just happens. Regardless of where the conversation starts, we inevitably end up talking about stones.
Once you get me started, I have a hard time stopping. I think that's why people are so willing to ask me questions. I'm very open about my connection to stones and openly descriptive about the role they play in my daily life.
I figure if I have this conversation everywhere I go, it would be more useful to write it down so people can read it for themselves. There are a lot of people with questions and I simply don't have enough time to talk to everyone.
So, following is my offering to help you on your journey. It is my hope that you will find it useful, educational and a bit entertaining. I've had a blast working on it!
Joyfully yours, R
CHAPTER 2
Everything Begins with Gratitude
My mother taught me a long time ago that it was important to be grateful for everything that I had. That meant I had to say thank you, this also meant I had to write thank you notes after every Christmas and birthday. I can honestly say I didn't really appreciate the intention behind it until much later. When I got older, that's when I came to understand that when you don't express gratitude, when you take your gifts and blessings for granted, you can, and more than likely will, lose those blessings.
For your life to be blessed by gratitude it must be two things – you must be genuine and abundant in your expression. You must find opportunities in every day to feel true gratitude for the moments of grace in your life.
Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.
– William Arthur Ward
Be Genuine
Feel gratitude for every moment something went your way, an issue was resolved, or something arrived in the nick of time. Feel gratitude for the people that blessed you in big and small ways. Feel gratitude for your Self and the gifts that you have given yourself over the last couple of days.
One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings ...
-Carl Jung
Life has many lessons to teach and they are sometimes not the easiest lessons to learn. Sometimes we find ourselves focusing only on the challenges. If you find that the only things coming to mind or out of your mouth are the challenges and injustices of your life, then taking time to focus on gratitude can truly manifest a great change in your life and perspective.
Be Abundant
How often do you express gratitude? To be abundant in our expression means we must go well beyond anything we've done in the past. By taking time out of each day to express gratitude for what we have experienced, we open ourselves up to continue to receive wonderful blessings. If you are continually grateful for what you have already been given, you will find your life continually filled with reasons to be grateful.
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
– Melody Beattie
Gratitude is a Habit
I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude.
–Brene Brown
Like any other habit we want to create, we have to practice at expressing gratitude daily.
Gratitude must be Expressed
While having the gratitude is powerful, expressing that gratitude is what puts that power into action.
If you feel gratitude for something that someone has done for you or offered to you, say something. Say thank you.
'Thank you' is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.
– Alice Walker
Be genuine in your expression. Once I was accused of humble bragging. I was appalled at the idea that by me pointing out the good things in my life I was somehow making people feel bad about their own. Then I shifted. I realized that some of that was projection from the person that said it. I also realized that some of it was a reflection of my own doubts and fear about expressing my gratitude for my life's blessings.
Remember we must be two things in our gratitude – genuine and abundant. Genuine means you must truly feel grateful for whatever you are experiencing. You must be able to feel it from head to toe for every blessing in your life. You must also express that gratitude without shame or doubt. You must be vigilant in remaining true to the grace in your life.
At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.
– Albert Schweitzer
The Joy of Gratitude
Gratitude is reciprocal. I have a friend that used to never say thank you unless someone reminded her. The thing is, I know she was grateful. I know she appreciates any help she receives, gifts, meals that someone cooks, all of it. But, so often it's the words "thank you" that didn't happen. Often that is all someone needs to hear that we fail to say. Showing your gratitude for someone else helps express to them that you appreciate the time, effort and care that they expended on your behalf. The thank you is really your gift for giving.
What if no one did or gave you anything? What if you found $5 on the street on a day you had no money? Or found a close parking spot in a rain storm? Or found something you thought you had lost at the bottom of your closet (all of which have happened to me)? Who do you thank then?
I've witnessed many people thank God or Jesus, others thank Saints or Goddesses, or some just thank the Universe. In reality, you don't have to thank anyone in particular. What's important is to have a grateful heart. When you have gratitude within, your open heart opens you up to receive more blessings. When you live your life with gratitude you begin to see all of the blessing you have every day.
The residual effect of all of this focus on gratitude is you begin to feel better about what you already have in your life. You find your life is filled to overflowing with blessings. Even when you have challenges, and I promise you will have challenges, a heart filled with gratitude cannot be heavy with the things that are missing in life.
A few years back, I spent an evening in community with some beautiful women at a time when I was really struggling with my writing. I posed a question to the group about my writing block and received just the answer I was looking for. I was relieved and incredibly grateful. That night brought me insight. I wrote a new poem and made friends that I have now had for years. We shared ourselves, our light, our joy with one another. I was overwhelmed with the richness of the experience. One woman shared with me one of my favorite phrases:
Where gratitude goes, grace follows.
This is 100% true. So often in my life I have been blessed beyond my imagination. I have been exceedingly grateful for those blessings and have to find ways to express this. As I said to another friend;
Life is filled with blessings. How can we expect to keep receiving if we aren't grateful for the ones we've already received?
Concentrating on the things missing or dark in our lives just creates more feelings of loss. Remember even a disappointment can be a gift that simply hasn't been revealed yet, stay connected to the feelings of gratitude and you will find your moment of grace. It is often the gratitude that has shifted my perspective in the dark and allowed me to finally see the light.
CHAPTER 3
What's Joy Got to Do with It?
Five years ago, I wrote the first draft of a book called The Joy of Being You. I am now on my third draft and it is now called The 5 Principles of Joy. The point of the book is to help people understand what I teach clients about connecting to their joy. Every lesson that I teach has its root in this joyful path. It is through joy I am able to fulfill my mission:
Be Out. Spread Love. Teach Joy.
When I talk about joy, I am talking about an inner well of golden light that, when filled to overflowing, becomes pure bliss. It is the inner part of you that keeps you from sinking when you are faced with life's challenges. It is the unique and special part of you that people fall in love with. By choosing to live your life in joy--because it is a choice-you will find your life filled with joyful blessings.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony – Mahatma Gandhi
A word about Happiness – often when people speak of joy the word happiness immediately proceeds or follows it. While I am in full support of happiness, it is an emotion which means it's impermanent, fleeting. Your emotional pendulum can swing from happiness to misery or anger with the flip of a switch. Look at that quote from Mahatma Gandhi: you experience happiness when all things are in harmony. Life moves quickly so it's no wonder these states of harmony, of happiness, are fleeting.
Joy is a lot deeper and more stable. It is a state of being. For example: while I am in a continuous state of joy, I am really not happy with this traffic right now. The traffic is creating an inharmonious state, which leads to a lack of happiness.
By creating and connecting to actions and behaviors that remind us of our joy, we are able to create a continuous state of joy and be less deeply affected when our moments of happiness escape us.
To better understand where the use of stones and crystals fall on this joyful path, I thought it best to start with a brief description of the principles and how stones and crystals can be used in daily practice.
The 5 Principles of Joy are:
Love Your Self – This is three separate words. You need to love your Self - the person that you are. You have to love all of you without judgment or apology. You must love and accept all of you if you expect others to do the same.
Meditation with stones that bring forth feelings of self-love or self-appreciation could be used here.
Trust Your Self – You must learn to listen to your inner compass without doubt or judgement. You know everything you need to know to make the ideal decision for your life. There is no one that is more of an expert on what's right for your life than you. Who knows you better than you? No one! You know what's best for you.
Here a touchstone or "worry" stone for self-knowledge could be a useful reminder that you trust your Self to know the right answer.
Accept Your Gifts – We all have gifts that are ours to give. We must give those gifts with gratitude for the blessing we can bring to others' lives. We all have gifts that are ours to receive. We must accept those gifts with gratitude for the blessings that others have brought to our life. We must give and receive these gifts.
Here stones with properties of worthiness or receiving could help any blocks that prevent someone from accepting their due.
Speak Your Truth – Be honest about your journey. Be authentic in your presentation of Self. If you are not honest in your presentation, how can anyone love the real you? Accept your truth and speak it without need of validation or sympathy. Own your journey. Own your lessons.
Connecting to a stone that reflects your personal life mission could be helpful in reminding you to have a steady voice or a stone that is literally about communication.
Live Your Mission – What does your life look like when you are living your mission? This principle is all about action. Are you engaging in thoughts, words and activities daily to create the life you want to live and manifest your dreams? This is about doing what it takes to harness your power, your light and make something happen.
This is what using the stones is all about. By harnessing the stones' energies for what you want to see happening in your life, you are finding a way to live your intentions, to live your mission in every moment.
Now if you're feeling somewhat skeptical, that's okay. That just means when you start recognizing the changes that working with stones and crystals is creating, you'll be that much more convinced. Skeptical people are the greatest fans because they were the hardest to convince.
Some of you might be saying that the stones themselves aren't doing anything. The energy lying within can't be used to change your life. It's not the stones but the person that changes their life. I would say to that, you could be right and you are definitely right. The stones could simply be acting as a placebo. People are finding a way to feel better about their life and the stone is just a prop. Or what if people use the stones to focus their energy, attention and intention toward a specific goal which frees them from worry or concern and allows that goal to manifest?
Here's a better question – does it really matter? Does it matter whether someone uses stones as a way to focus their resources? No! What matters is that it's working. Even if we don't understand or agree on how it's working, you'll eventually agree that it's working.
The easiest way to really be able to see the difference is to record the changes – either in a journal or even a video. You'll want to find a way to document your progress.
Let's face it. Even if this all feels a bit odd or unusual, aren't your dreams worth a bit of odd or unusual behavior if it means they're coming true?
Here's another question – if whatever you've been doing up to now was working, would we be having this conversation? Right. So, you already know that you're looking for something new, something different, something a bit odd, perhaps.
Or maybe you're saying, "I already have stones. They work okay. What more could there be to it? I buy the stones. I have the stones. Done."
I'm sitting here typing this, literally bursting with all of the things I can't wait to tell you about. Man oh man this is getting exciting!
This is exactly why I wrote this book. Let's first talk about ways that you can use stones, then we'll talk about the process of acquiring them and what to do with them once you have them.
Here we go!
