God, Are You Nice or Mean?: Trusting God . . . After the Orphanage

Through a journey of joys, tears, struggle, and hopelessness, Debra Delulio Jones found herself shaking her fist in the air and screaming, “God, are you nice or mean?”

Debra and her husband, Alan, believed they were following God’s will when they adopted Dane from an orphanage in Romania in 1991. Scars of communism left their mark on this infant, and Debra searched for many years for answers for her troubled son. She found some answers, but what she didn’t expect to find was that her relationship with God was much like that of an orphaned child who didn’t really trust her adopted heavenly father.

Dane didn’t know how to trust the love of his parents due to his early abandonment and attachment issues. In his confusion he would say, “Mommy, are you nice or mean?” As she learned ways to connect to her son, Debra realized a twenty year course in clinging to God paralleled her parenting journey. She came to understand that her doubts about God were rooted in fear and pain, just like her son’s maladaptive behaviors.

As an adoptive mother in the role of healing parent, she gained insight into knowing God as her healer through lessons she learned in her relationship with Dane. In her transparent and humorous way, Debra shares how she went from living as a “spiritual orphan” to a trusting daughter in her daily walk with God.

Debra Delulio Jones is a wife, mother, educator, writer, and speaker. Her work includes over twenty years of experience with special needs children. She has a Master of Education degree from Texas Woman’s University. For years, she felt overwhelmed and ill-equipped to manage the maladaptive and disruptive behavior of her son, Dane. Through a rich partnership with researchers at the TCU Institute of Child Development, Debra and her family have overcome tremendous obstacles.

Debra lives with her husband, Alan, in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex. She enjoys traveling, reading, and spending time with her family.