CHAPTER 1

The Journey

I have travelled aeons through the labyrinth of life
and tasted the vagaries of its pliant moods.
I have ambled over many roads in a cloud of pallor
and missed the gentle fingers of light kneel to signal highlands free.
I have courted the wealth of life's pleasures and
charmed the winds of worldly cares,
Yet every track I have sojourned a blessed experience did it brew
Sometimes tasteless, savoury some,
But lessons did it cultivate
until that fateful call did rend the covers webbed around my soul
that I would hear the plaintive tunes caress the sleeping light awake
into the knowing of the truth.
Poised on the plateau of content, the radius of my wings extends.
Equipped with knowing I embark, to the sacred temple, that I Am.

I was born in Trinidad, an island in the Caribbean, and had a normalchildhood growing up with three brothers, one sister and parents whoserved in the field of education.

Unlike many star seeds (those not of the Earth), I was not bornconscious of my gifts. I do recall having a great love and empathy forchildren and would be moved to assume a motherly status towardsthem. One of my most vivid memories is the day my last brother,Barry, was born. I took over the role of mother at the age of six andtreated him as my own. A few years later, when he became ill and hadto be hospitalised, I recall kneeling at the bedside and praying to Godfor his recovery.

As a child I was fairly grounded, very sensitive, prone to being emotionaland not very comfortable with the male presence. I lived in my owninner world at times with the propensity to day dream.

When my siblings were out playing, my preference was to read. Asa teenager, my love for philosophy made me realise how differentI was from others my age. A great source of inspiration to me wasKhalil Gibran. My favourite book then was "The Prophet". I harbouredthoughts of one day being able to write like Gibran did. Being a nonconformistwith a keen sense of justice, I deplored injustice and had anaversion to violence and conf lict. In my formative and adolescent yearsI exhibited the traits of a typical Virgo, being born on 15th September.It was clear (mostly because they told me so) that others found medifficult at times. In those days I did not particularly feel understood.Perhaps, this was born from my inability to understand myself or myrole in this world. I always felt older than my age and was predisposedto being of a serious nature.

My religion was Presbyterian, and I have fond memories of attendingChurch and Sunday School as a child, and singing hymns. It becamevery obvious to me when I started High school that my knowledge ofthe Bible was very limited. There was little inclination on my part tostudy the Bible or to memorise passages or excerpts. Needless to say, myperformance in the religious education class was average.

On a brighter note, my creative abilities began to evolve and I foundmyself writing poetry and prose and participating in the performingarts. My inclination for theatrics made it easy for me to express the"soul" in the writings of others, and of my own. I did have a greatteacher in my mother, Roma, who had trained me and my siblings atan early age, in the art of public speaking and the recitation of poetry.However, my sense of fearlessness and courage to express my strongconvictions and feelings was inherited from my father, Charles. Mymusical abilities were encouraged through the playing of the piano, andsinging in the church and school choir.

The works of Chaucer, Shakespeare, Blake and Yeats greatly appealedto me. Their expressions moved my soul and inspired an interpretationthrough a deep perspective. It appears that, at an early age I was intuitivewithout knowing what that meant.

Religion taught me to know God outside of myself. HE was to bepraised, honoured and obeyed. HE was to be worshipped in separationto self and seen as an entity way beyond the human form in a dimensionor place called Heaven; never to be comprehended until one passed overthrough death and reunited with HIM.

The word spiritual held no importance to me at that time. Religionwas taught and one was expected to conform to what was offered. Infact the word spirit was associated with either the Holy Spirit or thosewho were deceased. Having grown up in a cosmopolitan environmentmy siblings and I learnt to appreciate the religious persuasions ofothers, and participated in and enjoyed the festivals of other religiousdenominations.

My life changed when I entered into training for a career in the legalprofession. My analytical side became enhanced but my creative abilitieswithered into dormancy. I had a fairly uneventful five years of studyingto become a lawyer with the normal experiences one might necessarilyundergo at University.

I entered the Legal profession in October 1994 and began my career asa lawyer. Being quite academic and analytical by nature made it easyfor me to adapt to the profession in those early years.

My real spiritual journey commenced when I moved to England in 1998to pursue a Master of Laws degree. Living by myself with very littlesupport, in a foreign country much bigger than I had ever experiencedbefore, took some getting use to. The pace of life and the culture wastotally different to that which I was accustomed. However, adapting tomy new life became easier over time, and after I completed my Master'sdegree I gained employment as a Solicitor.

As a Solicitor, I lived a fairly conservative life. I settled neatly in mynew environment, having made a few lasting friendships. There weremany unrealized expectations, some to my benefit, which eludedme until much later on. There were moments of the normal heart-wrenchingemotion of pain and hurt. The frustration of injustice, thedisappointment of selfishness and unappreciated kindness and love wereall experienced. However, it was obvious to me that I was becominga victim of these realities. It was difficult to appreciate or know at thistime of my being, that my God, was paving a way for a rebirth withinme, which would bring me to the point that I am at this moment. Thelimitations, the frustrations and disappointments brought me strengthand purpose, and paved the path to a new awakening of the god inme, which I now realize has always been, as it is in all of us. It wasat this time that the healing properties of forgiveness became a realexperience and liberated me from the hold of anger, emotional pain,and imbalance.

It became clear to me then that I had to love myself first, by choosingto be free of the negative elements birthed through the experiences.Choosing peace of mind instead of pain and anger allowed me toforgive; not only in words and thought but with meaning and intent.This enabled me to send love to the other parties who shared in theexperience.

It was long after, that it dawned upon me that I was creating myexperiences as a learning device. Being naive in many ways and not wiseto the ways of the world influenced my trusting and loving nature. Tome it was the only way to be.

The next experience spanned four years of my life. It is the lessonslearned and growth achieved during this time which contributed to mycharacter today. There may have also been karmic issues to be workedout through this experience. Through this emotionally arduous time mycreativity was resurrected. I was baptised into the knowledge of the spiritworld, taught myself how to heal others, and the Father (God) becamemy constant guide and companion. My mantras became "Always will Iset the Lord before me, HE is at my right hand and I shall not be moved" and"HIS grace is sufficient for me for HE shall perfect HIS strength in my weakness".These words were from the Bible and were a source of much solace to meduring those trying times. It was during this time that my relationshipwith the Divine became stronger. Yet, in keeping with my religiousupbringing I still treated the Father as an entity outside of myself.

I was also led to powerful spiritual people who opened doors to newinformation, which enhanced my understanding of spirit and spiritualmatters. One such lady was Ana Robinson, an internationally renownedSpiritual Guide and prayer warrior who led me in the ways of spirit. Shealways maintained that I had a lot of work to do for God.

The tendency to see myself as a victim made me ask the question, "Whyme?" I eventually saw myself as a participant in the experience thatcaused me to be stretched. This enabled me to discover my tenacity,strong will and God attributes. This experience proved to be theconduit to profound self discovery, character enhancement and spiritualenlightenment. Unknowingly, the divine lessons and wisdom revealedto me enhanced my understanding of the experience. During thisexperience the poem Stretched was written.

Stretched

Stretched to the limit, my heart cried
No more, no more, please stem the tide
Of pain and fears and challenges,
I cannot bear.

HE must have heard my tearful plea
Because HE came and dried my cheeks.
HE soothed me with HIS loving touch
HE whispered words of timeless love.

My pain recedes, my hope restored;
Surely HE would end it now.
In my mind's eye I see a door.
Could it be the opening
I have been waiting for?

And then it came with resounding force.
The pain, poignant and raw.
My spirit waned and cried aloud
No more, no more
Deliver me, please save me now.

HE came to me and held my hand
HE said, MY child this is MY plan
Do not despair for you are saved
I deem you worthy of MY grace,
MY will shall never lead you through
The path where I cannot keep you.

I looked at HIM through loving eyes
And felt my Father's breath of life.
I then submitted to HIS will
And felt my spirit wax with pride,
As HE anointed me with peace
I felt my Father's grace released.

He looked at me and said, "MY child
Longsuffering you must achieve,
For the fruit of the spirit to be received,
No burden shall I give to you
Without the courage and the strength
And MY unfailing grasp to hold."

I understood my Father's plan
For my spiritual transformation.
Stretch me my Father, as far as you can
And I will bow to YOUR command.

It is said that you must be careful what you ask for. Even today Icontinue to be stretched in many ways, but it is clear that the goal forme was and is self mastery—mastery over my emotions, mastery overthe illusion of myself in this world and God mastery. The AscendedMaster Serapis Bey has taught that "Time and space are the crucible wherebyyou must prove your God mastery and the alchemy thereof." Although,unaware of it at the time, I was attracting experiences in keeping withthe goal of my soul. The lesson being taught was that, it is here and now,that I must bring it all into balance. It is through my life's experiencesthat the opportunity presented itself for me to overcome, find, createand sustain balance. In 2002, the world of spirit opened up to me andI became aware of the existence of spirit guides. They began to speakto me through my candles. I would engrave the candles with names,being the subject of my prayer, and the candles would burn into lovehearts, initials or other prophetic words or figures. One night the f lameon one of my candles was ablaze higher than normal, and I saw that thewick had formed into the shape of a love heart. It became clear to methen how powerful energy is and how through my thoughts and intentenergy would respond to me.

My guides then began to give me vivid dreams which were encouragingto me, and also prophetic of the things which would happen for me andothers. It was during this time that I started to engrave the candles withthe words "God's Truth".

I remember one night awaking at some unknown hour and seeing aman standing at a corner of my bedroom. There was no fear. I said tohim, "I know who you are; you are here to look after me". He was my guidein spirit. Not long after that, I remember musing to myself before goingout on a date, as to whether my date would think I was beautiful. Thatevening whilst waiting for my bus to take me home, an unassumingman came up to me, handed me a rose and asked me if I believed inAngels. I answered "yes". He gave to me the rose and said, "I am an Angelfrom God and I want you to know that you are beautiful." He then walkedaway and vanished into the night.

Eventually, my challenging experience came to an end and the healingbegan. My life progressed until the next two experiences which wereless daunting, yet still emotionally painful. There were times when Ifelt that the lessons from my previous experiences did not serve me,as I was being swept away by my own inability to understand thereasons for these experiences. Perhaps, the true lesson was eludingme. Nevertheless, my faith in God remained strong and in fact I grewcloser to HIM, trusting with an inner knowing that my patience andlongsuffering would be rewarded. As a result of this faith, no matterhow emotionally drained I felt at times, the choices made in response tothe experiences were balanced and in keeping with the will of God.

It was one of my great convictions that before I departed from this life Iwould see the face of God and hear HIS voice. Many times during thenight whilst asleep or in dream state I would hear myself praying.

In hindsight, it became clear that my experiences were a stepping stonefor me in my search for love. It eventually culminated in the greatestlove affair I would ever experience in my life.

Like most people, I wanted to be in a loving relationship which progressedto marriage and family life. My desire eluded me, notwithstanding mycapacity to give and share pure love. One weekend I cried out to theFather asking "why oh why have YOU forsaken me?" Why was it that Iwas giving and giving and giving love to all who came into my life andHE could not lead me to someone who would reciprocate? What morecould I do or give?

It was at this moment that my great awakening occurred. A light bulbwas switched on within me and over the next few weeks HE filledme with HIS presence. HE filled me to the brim with such pureunconditional love that I have never since sought love outside of myself.This was the beginning of my baptism into truth. HE gave to me theknowledge that HE is within me, not outside of me, and that HE isall LOVE and that I am all love. He took away my need, filled whatI thought was a void by simply awakening me to the remembranceof HIS presence within. My experience transcended an intellectualcomprehension of HIS presence. I felt and experienced HIS energy ina real and abiding way. HE has become my very heart beat. HE is theseat of my soul, yet HE sits on the throne of my heart.

The journey up to that point had been gruelling at times, but I wasbeing prepared through multitudinous experiences to evolve into mypower.

With my acceptance of the Father's revelation, HE charted my pathto the acquisition of Higher Knowledge and Truth. My real educationwas about to begin.

CHAPTER 2

The Unfolding

There was a profound feeling during the days and weeks following myawakening that life would never be the same for me again. My path ledme to people and groups who would become instrumental in my growthand spiritual education. The shutters over my eyes were fully lifted anda desire to be educated by spirit and in spirit was overpowering.

This season in my life was the season of revelations. I began to feelpresence around me. Whether travelling, teaching or just sitting athome, there was a presence around my head, my arms and my legs. Iwould feel feathery touches on my face, and my third eye and crownchakra would be buzzing. This was a new and exhilarating experience.It felt as if the presence was that of my spiritual and or Angelic guides.I did not know however, how to respond to the experience; it wassimply comforting.

In hindsight I realise how important divine timing is. Readiness isalways so crucial to the materialisation of change. For years, throughmy various experiences I was being prepared for this. My Angels andguides communicated to me through different ways in the past; suchas dreams, candles, poetry and prose. Being more spiritually open nowmeant that their mode of communication could become personal.