The Good Goodbye: The Transformative Power of Conversation at the End of Life

Communication experts offer examples and expertise about end-of-life conversations to inspire, teach, and encourage the reader to have their own and to grow from them.

Death is one thing we cannot control. We will all face the death of a loved one. And many, if not most, people in our culture will be hesitant and unprepared to say goodbye.

The Good Goodbye is meant to help those who must say goodbye to a loved one who is dying. In it, readers will discover how culture affects final conversations, and that often the last interactions may not consist of words but gestures and expressions. They will find examples from real people interviewed over many years, with themes that include love, everyday talk, taking care of business, identity messages, spiritual messages, and healing difficult relationships.

Readers will learn about the positive outcomes of final conversations, both from the advice of children and the detailed stories of adults who were changed profoundly in their attitudes and life paths. They will also see that many people have experienced communication with their loved one after that loved one has passed. Finally, readers will discover how others have overcome negativity to engage in the good goodbye, and how they can improve their own preparedness to have final conversations.

Anyone who faces the death of a loved one—and that will be all of us—can gain from reading this book. We have found that hospice workers, nurses, caregivers, assisted-living personnel, spiritual advisors, and grief groups are especially interested. But anyone who is walking the path with someone close who is dying will seek this information and enjoy the inspiration.

The main message: Be there. Listen. Love. Be grateful for the opportunity to grow.

Maureen Keeley and Julie Yingling’s combined experience totals 65 years of teaching, research, and writing about communication. Julie earned her Ph.D. in 1981 and Maureen received hers in 1994. They met at the University of Iowa, where Maureen was completing her doctorate and Julie was a visiting professor. In 2002, they discovered that no one had taken on the scientific study of how people interact and communicate when one of them is dying. Maureen was the first to see this gap in our knowledge and approached Julie to explore it with her. They wrote Final Conversations: Helping the Living and the Dying Talk to Each Other and it was published in 2007 by VanderWyk & Burnham.