Growing Up "Unacceptable": How Katharine Hepburn Rescued Me

When Signe Dayhoff is seven years old, she is told she is “unacceptable” by the father she desperately seeks to make love her. Because of his own deep-seated problems, he bullies her: blaming, belittling, criticizing, and emotionally abandoning her. Decades of this abuse leave her with the scars of social anxiety, anger, distrust, and low self-confidence. However, she is a survivor. That small voice in the inner reaches of her brain tells her she can, somehow, make herself “acceptable to be loved”—whatever that is supposed to mean. As she struggles to accomplish this nebulous goal, her efforts are not always smart or useful, and are sometimes self-sabotaging. Still she learns and grows.Intuitively she knows she needs a bold, larger-than-life image with which her inner-self can identify. That isn’t her brow-beaten mother. As a result, she recruits Katharine Hepburn’s strong, assertive, no-nonsense movie persona as her role model. Soon her mantra becomes, “What would Katharine Hepburn do in this situation?” This often leads to some amusing scenarios.Serious, humorous, and adventure-filled, this autobiographical novel follows the author on her rollercoaster ride of self-discovery about what acceptability means and "whose" acceptability really matters. Ultimately she overcomes her past and forges for herself kick-butt empowerment and a compassionate recovery.

Dr. Signe A. Dayhoff, PhD, is a social psychologist, interpersonal communications/social effectiveness coach, and author of 17 books. She lives in Placitas, New Mexico, where she is kitty mom to 20-plus senior and disabled rescue cats.