My Guardian Angel

My Guardian Angel contrasts the lives of both Satanists and Christians and how they would interact under extreme circumstances. It takes the reader inside the characters minds to experience what it's like to run for your life, to fear without hope, to become one with the paranormal, to undergo the cycle of temptation, justification, sin, guilt and discipline... but it will also allow you to embrace excitement of falling deeply in love.The author has a unique insight that she shares with her readers; having studied witchcraft and the occult long before she became a born-again Christian. After two very real, converse spiritual experiences, she came to realize that she was given a special gift; to be touched by both a demon and by God; to actually feel the difference between the spirits of Hell and the spirits of Heaven; and the undeniable knowledge that death is only a door to the eternity of your choosing. She doesn't preach or judge, she only paints spiritual warfare in the way that she sees and feels it and allows the reader to make their own decisions.

I was raised by a Catholic mother and an alcoholic father. As a teen, I was an outcast in school. I dreamed whimsically, dressed uniquely, crafted lyrics, and absorbed guitar lessons to feed the only love of my life, my music. I found myself being drawn into the occult by the music that inspired me. My guitar lessons were immersed in occult studies because my mentor was raised as a student of magick. One night, I was occupied by a demon during a séance. My best friend looked into my eyes and took off. When I finally caught up with her, she blurted, "When I looked at you in there, I didn't know who you were. Those weren't your eyes." That's when I realized, I had been watching the seance from behind my body. I couldn't have "seen" anything because my face and arms were levitating an inch above the table top. My eyes were closed and my arms were numb and tingling. When I lifted my head, my spirit returned into my body, but an intense rage awaited me... it was far beyond human anger. There was evil lurking behind my eyes. In one moment, I experienced the reality of Hell. I felt what Demons feel. I had invited it in, so I knew it didn't have to leave.

A couple years later, I was devastated by news that a close friend had an accident and only had a 20% chance of survival. I paced my apartment, alone... totally alone. I finally screamed at the ceiling, "God, if You're really there, I need to know it". I fell onto the bed and repeated, over and over, "How can I get through to You?" Suddenly, there was a thundering voice inside my head, but I didn't hear it with my ears. It was so loud that I jumped up with my heart racing. While I tried to catch my breath, three words blossomed inside my head, like a scroll opening, "Other People's Eyes". Strange words that I would never have imagined... I didn't even understand them. At the same time, I was overwhelmed by an incredible euphoria, unlike any drug induced state. I felt joy beyond words, and I realized I had just experienced the reality of Heaven. Amidst my anguish, my soul rejoiced for the first time and it was amazing... life changing.

My friend recovered from the accident and is now a born-again Christian. Soon after that experience, my mentor, guitar teacher and good friend had a life changing experience and also became a born-again Christian. He slowly started to lead all of his guitar students toward Christ, including me, and is now my pastor. The one thing he stressed to us from the beginning was, if anybody, including himself, taught us anything that was contrary to the Bible, we were to run far away. Christ taught that man made rules are contrary to God's will. Although I may dress Goth, write Christian Gothic metal music and write paranormal action/romance novels, I'm still a Christian. These things do not conflict with God's word. I'm an inimitable individual called by God for His purpose. However, I've found myself becoming more of an outcast, not only in this world, but in the church... just as Jesus was. He was persecuted because He spent time in the darkness, but only to be a light in that darkness. I know the darkness well, but I was changed by The Light. I was given a special gift... to actually touch the spiritual realm of both Heaven and Hell. I know, without a doubt, God is real, Satan is real and there is an entire world surrounding us that we cannot see... always in conflict. I am called to share my gift, to be a light in the darkness, not to run away from it.