LOVE

More has been written, spoken, painted and sung about love, than any other single human experience, yet, its origins and dynamics still remain largely mysterious. One thing is for sure, being "in love" can be a journey of elation or a path to the most abject emotional pain. As Kahlil Gibran wrote regarding Love in his famous masterpiece, The Prophet:

"For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth".

Many philosophers, psychologists and writers have tried to deconstruct romantic love to reveal its origins and the myriad ways it can be experienced. One recent such effort can be found in Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages, wherein he delineates love as being embodied in the following expressions:

1. Words of Affirmation

2. Physical Touch

3. Acts of Service

4. Gifts

5. Quality Time

And certainly, each of us express our feelings of love through a different combination of these qualities and within each of these, there are innumerable nuances which give each love relation its own unique personality. In fact, I have found that each of us unknowingly develops an expectation of what love should look and feel like, based on our own particular combination and intensity of these qualities. And the relationships that are the most mutually satisfying are those in which each partner demonstrates a similar blend of these love expressions.

Romantic love develops most often from physical attraction, a hormonally driven state which was described by Sigmund Freud as "a kind of sickness and craziness, an illusion, a blindness to what the loved person is really like". But if and as that lust develops into a mature relationship, passion eventually morphs into compassion and a deep friendship. Sex may still be involved, but it does not sustain the union. The partners appreciation for their mates broadens to include respect, understanding, comfort, adaptability, familiarity and shared interests. And this deeper form of love brings us greater lasting joy than does pure lust, but it is also much more difficult to lose. Someone may suffer a bruised ego if they are sexually rejected, but when a deep romantic connection is broken, the level of suffering can be soul wrenching.

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