Hear Us NOW!: How to Ask Questions and Connect with Children So They Feel Heard

A month has passed and I have been struggling to have my students do their work and to pay attention in class. It hit me like a ton of bricks that my students are stressed and cannot focus. They think that no one understands what they are going through. Pandemic, record heat, smoky air, distance learning, not being able to socialize, and so much more that I do not even know is a difficult equation that adds up to their inability to focus. I have several students who are dealing with deaths in their family and one child that had a seizure, fell, and sustained a concussion. I wanted the students to know that they are not alone. That is why I started heartfelt conversations with them. My first question was, “How do you feel?” The answers I got were, “good, fine, bad, tired.” So I asked them the next day, “How do you really feel?” They gave me the same answers because they did not know how they really felt. This is how and why our heartfelt conversations began.

The main goals for this book are for students to feel connected, and to have compassion for themselves as well as others. The words that I am writing are coming from my heart. The topics, questions, and responses flow naturally while talking with my students. Nothing is contrived. I simply ask a question and they share their feelings and thoughts while I listen attentively. At times, I feel the need to share back by offering some advice. Usually, I just let them know that they are not alone. A simple act that is incredibly important. Even the students who do not share, benefit from this. Students can see that others are feeling the same way, and thus beginning to heal their hearts. They will feel connected and heard.

I am a math teacher. You might be wondering . . . . Why is a math teacher writing a book about students and their feelings? I am sharing these insights and reflections so that other teachers and parents can further understand what is going on inside the hearts and minds of our students! The hope is that you will learn how to connect with your students at a deeper, more profound level and help prevent students from coming out of this pandemic, social distancing, and distance learning ordeal in a state of depression, disconnection, and / or hopelessness. We have to be proactive and help our students now! Depression is a feeling of loneliness and disconnection from the world around us. Many students are feeling these emotions, and it is exasperated by distance learning and everything else that they are experiencing right now. If we do not help them now, we will have an epidemic of depression among our youth later. Now is the time to be present for them. To fix the problem before it happens. NOW.

We live in a very disconnected society, yet we long for deep connections but don't know where to begin. This book was written during the pandemic to help students feel less stressed but I quickly realized that it is essential for everyone. Even though the focus is on young people, the ideas presented in this book can be used with everyone of any age.