The Heart of the Fight: A Couple's Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer

Every couple fights—it’s how you fight that can determine the success of your relationship. This book teaches you to look beyond what you and your partner fight about, and discover the core issues that undermine your relationship.

In the midst of a disagreement, many couples ask themselves, “What are we really fighting about?” Sound familiar? As it turns out, breakups and divorce don’t happen because couples fight, they happen because of how couples fight. In this much-needed book, Judith and Bob Wright—two married counselors and coaches with over thirty years of experience helping couples learn how to fight well—present their tried-and-true methods for exploring the emotions that underlie many relationship fights.

In this unique guide, you’ll learn how to use disagreements as an opportunity to deepen your understanding of your partner, bring more intimacy to the relationship, strengthen your bond, and really learn from the conflicts and tensions that occur between you. You’ll also learn how to navigate the fifteen most common fights couples have, including “the blame game,” “dueling over dollars,” “If you really loved me, you’d…,” “told-you-so’s,” and more.

If you’re ready to start fighting for your love, rather than against it, this book will show you how.

Judith Wright, EdD, is a world-renowned couples and lifestyles coach, media favorite, inspirational speaker, lifestyles expert, professor, and corporate consultant. She is the award-winning coauthor of Transformed! and the best-selling author of There Must Be More Than This and The Soft Addiction Solution. Wright has appeared on 20/20, Oprah, Good Morning America, and Today; and in over 600 print and radio interviews, including the New York Post, Boston Herald, and San Francisco Chronicle. Wright is cofounder of the dynamic and innovative couples program at the Wright Foundation and the Wright Graduate University for the Realization of Human Potential, where she is also professor of transformational coaching.

Bob Wright, EdD, is an internationally recognized visionary, speaker, educator, consultant, coach, professor, and best-selling author. He cofounded the Wright Graduate University for the Realization of Human Potential to teach people to develop their vision and fulfill their dreams. Coauthor of the award-winning book Transformed! and several other books that have sold hundreds of thousands of copies globally, Wright is recognized as a top coach by Crain’s Business and has helped thousands of people across the country transform their careers, relationships, and lives. Wright is cofounder of the couples program at the Wright Foundation and the Wright Graduate University for the Realization of Human Potential, where he is also professor of transformational leadership.

Judith and Bob bring not only significant academic and research background to the couples skills they teach, but also real-world experience from a thriving and dynamic marriage. It’s not uncommon for the Wrights to be mistaken for newlyweds—even after thirty-plus years of marriage. They model a truth-telling, no-holds-barred, intimate relationship for all the couples they lead, teach, and train.