Hello Humans

The galaxy watches. Earth's totally winging it.

Humanity is about to receive an invitation to the cosmic party-assuming we don't blow ourselves up first.

The Intergalactic Committee has placed Earth under official review for galactic membership. It's mostly procedural. Probably. Except humans are disappearing.

The Greys deny involvement. The Reptilians blame space terrorists. Robonkey cyborgs are promoting suspicious agricultural initiatives that may or may not involve turning Earth into a nut farm. Meanwhile, the Committee remains buried under celestial bylaws and guidelines for "peaceful negotiations." To them, kicking someone's ass is about as strategic as kicking a wall in flip-flops.

Told through interlocking stories spanning decades, species, and wildly different agendas, Hello Humans follows ambassadors, conspiracy theorists, alien bureaucrats, rival factions, highly opinionated space cats, and one profoundly unqualified stoner-each uncovering another piece of a much larger problem.

Because Earth isn't just being observed.

It's being evaluated.

And if humanity can't prove it belongs, the universe may decide we're not ready for membership after all.