Honoring Aging Parents: How to Grow Up When Mom and Dad Grow Old

Moving away from parents to become independent is a major rite of passage into adulthood. Another test of maturity and character is transitioning them into dependent living. For many, this becomes a reality as parents age and become unable to care for themselves.

This situation can be frustrating and challenging for everyone. Honoring Aging Parents helps anticipate and alleviate emotional turmoil by providing real-life examples that stick in readers’ minds and help understand normal responses of both caregivers and parents. Honoring Aging Parents helps eliminate feelings of anxiety and isolation due to our parents’ aging by addressing the normal responses involved.

Authors Klaus Dannenberg and Bruce Black provide insights into the situation, including the mix of emotions encountered, a financial assessment, a summary of options, and prompts for tough conversations with both parents and siblings. They then discuss the transition into a caregiving role and the challenges created by dependent living—not just medical issues but the associated emotional roller coaster. Dannenberg and Black also confront tough subjects like the loss of a parent’s mental faculties and preparing for the end. In hindsight, they relate the unexpected growth and contentment discovered throughout this process.

The authors approach their advice from a Christian perspective, but everyone facing the future with aging parents will find their practical suggestions helpful.

Retired engineering executive Klaus Dannenberg writes from his own diverse experiences caring for his in-laws while simultaneously observing his father's decline after his mother passed away. Dannenberg and his wife spent twelve years navigating multiple levels of caregiving while helping her mother and father as they encountered the gradual decline of Alzheimer's and congestive heart failure. New situations and challenges were encountered after his father's May-December remarriage.

Practicing minister Bruce Black dealt with very different circumstances resulting in additional caregiving situations. When his mother-in-law suffered a debilitating stroke, he and his wife were thrust into a major caregiving situation overnight, unprepared for their new responsibilities. He recently began offering counseling in gerontology.

Their combined experiences provide insight into both the caregivers' and parents' mindset and reactions, giving a helpful perspective of normal responses and their causes. Since no one likes to feel alone in a challenging situation, the anecdotal experiences they relate help reassure readers about their personal situations, provide practical suggestions for their own applications, and offer insights into the long term rewards of treating parents with love and honor.