Hope Is Contagious

Drawing on the wisdom of breast cancer survivors, a compassionate, practical guide offers honest advice on a wide range of medical, emotional, psychological, and cosmetic concerns, discussing such topics as how to cope with chemotherapy, therapeutic options, and more. Original. 20,000 first printing.

Chapter One

Diagnosis

"Plan on a whopping phone bill. Don't worry about paying it until later!"
Christy, age 44, diagnosed 1995

"There's something about breast cancer that makes it different from foot cancer or, for that matter, any other disease. It's about body image, it's about nurturing -- it certainly is about femininity. It is loaded for women in ways that other health threats are not."
Executive director of the National Alliance of Breast Cancer Organizations,
Amy S. Langer, age 42, diagnosed 1984

"Although the don't have a cure yet, there are many new aggressive methods available. Go to a well-known hospital or clinic. Get two opinions. Then follow through with the program that was set up for you."
Alice, age 67, diagnosed 1980

"Make sure that you're comfortable with our doctors. Once you are satisfied with our choice, don't let anyone undermine your confidence in the decisions that you make."
Cindy, age 42, diagnosed 1993

"When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I had these horrible anxiety attacks. I couldn't sleep and lost nine pounds in two weeks. I didn't want to take a prescription drug to relax, so I did some research and found a wonderful herb called valerian. Valerian drops in my water helped me get some sleep and some peace, without any side effects or loss of control."
Margit, age 35, diagnosed 1995

"The best support I got was from a woman who had lived through both breast and ovarian cancer and was now 80 years old! My advice is to connect with women who have been there and are well now. Especially well in spirit!"
Patricia, age 53, diagnosed 1991

"Instead of planning your death, plan your vacation. The pharmacy bills, hotel bills, phone bills, wigs, turbans, and prosthesis all add up. Charge it on one of those mileage-saving frequent-flier credit cards, and by the end of the arduous months of treatment there will be enough points for a free vacation! It's nice to have something to look forward to!"
Margit, age 35, diagnosed 1995

"My husband had difficulty accepting my diagnosis. He went for counseling for the first time in his life, which ended up helping out both of us!"
Lindy, age 47, diagnosed 1984

"Don't give up; inform yourself about the disease and be honest about it to others."
Ruth, age 74, diagnosed 1984

"I had always thought that a diagnosis of breast cancer meant having to lose a breast. I was so relieved to find out that these days in many cases you can keep your breast and not have to trade it in for your life."
Sarah, age 29, diagnosed 1994

"I believe that there are at least as many 'so-so' doctors out there as there are really good ones -- find the one that works for and with you!"
Lindy, age 47, diagnosed 1984

"I got support from my faith in God."
Emma, age 67, diagnosed 1995

"I learned a key survival skill from my golden retriever when he developed cataracts in both of his eyes. Cataracts, unlike cancer, are not life threatening, but they can affect one's quality of life. My dog still plays like a puppy because he has learned to see with his nose."
Margit, age 35, diagnosed 1995

"Get support from family and friends, but research the disease as much as you possibly can."
Joanne, age 50, diagnosed 1990

"I got support from three close friends who maintained constant contact with me. All three had breast cancer."
Lois, age 50, diagnosed 1994

"If you work, keep working. If you have a social life, keep socializing. Don't let the cancer downgrade our life. Rather, force it into a role of enhancing our life."
Bette, age 45, diagnosed 1985 & 1995

"Don't let today's trial bog you down. Think of it as a long process where you win at the end."
Evelyn, age 49, diagnosed 1990

"My cancer was very early stage in situ. Most people would say that with such a diagnosis a mastectomy is ridiculous and totally unnecessary, but it's what I chose. It's my body, my life, and I'm the one living with the decision. I'm glad I did it and have no regrets."
Annette, age 74, diagnosed 1988

"My husband helped me by embarking on a major research mission."
Sharon, age 32, diagnosed 1996

"I told people myself about my diagnosis because I found it helpful for people to hear the truth from me rather than gossip and speculation."
Cindy, age 42, diagnosed 1993

"I knew I had to live for nay husband and kids. No matter what lay ahead, I had to go through it so I could be around for them!"
Susan, age 38, diagnosed 1991

"Go and get a flu shot if you get diagnosed in the fall. Treatment in the winter is hard enough without catching the flu!"
Bonita, age 39, diagnosed 1994

"Shortly after my diagnosis, I saw an ad for The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation's Race for the Cure. I called the foundation and got the date of a race scheduled in my area, to take place after the expected completion date of my treatment. Some friends thought I was setting myself up for disappointment. Others knew I was setting a goal for myself. I ran that race! My oncologist ran it with me and waited for me at the finish line with a smile and a sweaty hug!"
Margit, age 35, diagnosed 1995

"I told everyone in my personal life, but not in my professional life."
Sandy, age 47, diagnosed 1995

"If I stop and think about the future I get really frightened. Almost paralyzed. When this happens I force myself to go do something fun. I always do something that I never would have done before my diagnosis of breast cancer."
Joan, age 30, diagnosed 1994

"I lost my job because they said I no longer fit into their long-term goals. My new job is a much better one that I love."
Connie, age 41, diagnosed 1985, 1994, & 1996

"Listen to music. Watch birds."
Gail, age 49, diagnosed 1994

"When I was diagnosed with breast cancer the first thing I did was go to talk with someone who put my head in the right place spiritually. With my head in the right place I knew I could take on anything!"
Alice, age 42, diagnosed 1994

"I had a really close friend who allowed me to call whenever I had one of my anxiety attacks. She talked me through them at all hours of the night."
Amy, age 40, diagnosed 1995

"I got lots of cards and letters from the school where I work, which was wonderful support."
Gail, age 49, diagnosed 1994

"From the first day of diagnosis I had to learn to live with fear and the ambiguity of this disease. The not knowing has been harder than any of the treatments. I finally found a place for the constant uncertainty of breast cancer. I take chances I never took before. I live life one day at a time and savor every moment."
Elizabeth, age 35, diagnosed 1995

"I live alone and had a mastectomy and reconstruction with no support other than from my doctors. I managed to handle it myself. It's been ten years since my diagnosis of breast cancer."
Marjorie, age 76, diagnosed 1986

"My husband was endlessly loving, supportive, and helpful from the moment I was diagnosed right through treatment. He helped me laugh and fight and I couldn't have done it without him."
Janet, age 56, diagnosed 1993

"My husband was too scared to support me, but my children were grown and I was happy about that."
Mary, age 70, diagnosed 1975

"Get a 'big sister' who has been in your shoes and can talk you through treatment. Make sure she's close to you in age."
Beverly, age 53, diagnosed 1993

"The doctors had a conference about my tumor, which was the size of a walnut and close to the chest wall. They told me I had one year to live. That was twenty-six years ago!"
Martha, age 74, diagnosed 1970

"I was diagnosed the day before my wedding. My husband was, and still is, very supportive."
Jane, age 26, diagnosed 1994

"I had a boyfriend who was not at all supportive. We broke up. I lost my breast, but I chose to give up my boyfriend."
Julie, age 50, diagnosed 1985

"I went to the library and read everything I could find about breast cancer."
Patricia, age 52, diagnosed 1985

"There is loads of support out there for the taking. Look for and find it."
Holly, age 57, diagnosed 1983

"Nobody but us really knows what it's like."
Television producer, journalist, author,
Linda Ellerbee, age 52, diagnosed 1992

"Cry when you need to."
Anne, age 57, diagnosed 1996

"Not all cancers are the same. Each person's treatment may differ because of the type of disease. Talk, talk, talk."
Gail, age 41, diagnosed 1994

"It's a great time to encourage other women to get a mammogram."
Betsy, age 51, diagnosed 1995

"I believe in eating a well-balanced diet with small helpings of a great variety of foods, watching one's weight, and sensible exercise. Enjoy yourself in this life!"
Author, teacher,
Julia Child, age 85, diagnosed 1952

"I never missed a day of work and found that it's what kept me going and where I got the most support."
Alison, age 44, diagnosed 1994

"My mother was a great source of support for me. She had breast cancer also."
Paula, age 34, diagnosed 1995

"Ask every question that comes into your mind and don't be shy about it. Doctors charge a great deal, so don't let them make you feel you're wasting their time with stupid questions. The unasked question is the only stupid one."
Beverly, age 32, diagnosed 1995

"Be sure to bring a list of questions to the doctor's office. That way when you're nervous you won't forget them all. Also it's a good idea to bring someone with you to help interpret the answers and to write them down."
Maria, age 47, diagnosed 1990

"We live in an age when cancer no longer has to mean a death sentence."
Edythe, age 86, diagnosed 1996

"What you do initially for treatment impacts your options down the road. Most women aren't told that."
Virginia, age 45, diagnosed 1989 & 1991

"I remember clearly the first time I laughed after the traumatic news of my diagnosis. It was when my friend Marilyn frantically called trying to help by telling me where I could get a ton of information about breast cancer. She told me about the National Cancer Institute's help line. I've always been a terrible speller so she clearly spelled it out for me. 1-800-4-C-A-N-C-E-R. The irony of this made me giggle uncontrollably."
Margit, age 35, diagnosed 1995

"I took time off from work so I could pamper myself and deal with my diagnosis. I loved doing it but was sorry it took cancer for me to do this."
Sue, age 35, diagnosed 1994