Only Human

My wife, who was my best friend, died of an incurable disease on October 10, 2024.

Joanne was more than my wife, more even than my best friend. For 54 years we were never apart for more than two weeks – not ever. Nor do I believe either of us ever wanted to be. When she died on my 77th birthday, I was holding her hand and saying, “I love you.” When I let go of her hand, a bond was physically broken.

Time, it is said, heals all wounds, but that’s a false platitude. It is true, however, that the wound scabs over and, as the walking wounded… we walk on.

But where to?

In the wake of Joanne’s death, I felt compelled to preserve the relationship with my beloved wife and friend, if possible, and so I embarked on a year-long investigation of the potential ways to do that. Only Human is an exploration of what it means to be human, and what our prospects are for extending existence beyond our bodies’ lifespan.

"Part memoir, part tribute to a departed spouse, and part philosophical inquiry into what it means to be human, this highly original and deeply thought-provoking book is a must read not only for those who have lost a loved one, but anyone interested in probing the mysteries of life and death. Only Human is richly layered and elegantly crafted, with a strong individual voice and lucid writing, blending vernacular phraseology with formal philosophical prose. James Ottavio Castagnera takes on profound, sometimes unanswerable questions surrounding loss, grieving, guilt, sexuality, and family, offering multiple points of view and a wise, agnostic humility. His range of references, from The Twilight Zone through numerous musical lyrics to Arthur Conan Doyle and Robert Louis Stevenson, is impressive, connecting ideas we wouldn’t think of linking. I was deeply moved by this one-of-a-kind book and learned a great deal from it." —Dr. Jack Sullivan, Professor Emeritus of English, Rider University.