The Insider Guide to PDA

"Don't tell me what to do" - everyone's said it (or thought it!), but for the PDA brain it's a tenet that makes everyday tasks a constant challenge. Whether it's a request from a friend or a social expectation to do something, pathological demand avoidance can throw a bucket of ice water on your motivation, or create anxiety that builds up and boils over as a meltdown.

In this essential primer, PDAers Sally Cat and Brook Madera explain what PDA is, how it manifests, and what you can do to minimise its impact. They explore its interaction with other forms of neurodivergence, potential misdiagnosis as a multitude of other conditions and disorders, and how it actually feels in reality. They also highlight the positives of PDA life, as shared by other PDAers and their loved ones.

Whether you're a PDAer yourself, or know one and want to support them, this Insider Guide will help you understand what PDA is and how to live with it.

Sally Cat is a consultant, speaker, and leading expert on internalised PDA. She is the author of PDA by PDAers, Pathological Demand Avoidance Explained, Sleep Misfits, and Calendar Girl. Sally runs the Sally Cat Facebook page, which supports over 40,000 PDAers.

Brook Madera (No Pressure PDA) lives in Oregon and founded the non-profit, PDA USA. Brook runs the Facebook groups No Pressure PDA and PDA USA: Pathological Demand Avoidance. She has served as PDA North America's liaison for PDA lived experience, and was a speaker for both their 2024-2025 conferences.