The Intimacy Dance: 8A Guide to Long-Term Success in Gay and Lesbian Relationships

A book for gays and lesbians in relationships of three years or longer addresses such issues as identities merging, sex waning, the inability to resolve conflicts, and the inability to communicate among others

A book on the problems of gay and lesbian couples faces two major challenges. It must first establish what, other than specifics of physical intimacy, differentiates gay and lesbian relationships from heterosexual ones. Second, it must not dwell on those differences to the exclusion of constructive observations and advice. This book succeeds on both counts and so qualifies as a helpful guide to maintaining long-term relationships, which Berzon (Permanent Partners), a Los Angeles psychotherapist, defines as those connections that weather the gay and lesbian three-year itch. The book falters, however, in its construction and its writing, and these failings are sufficient to make it at times exasperating reading. Its chief expository device is synoptic case studies that alternate between male and female. These snippets are far too simplified to offer much. But the book manages to shine in its extended recognition not only of homosexual relationships in general but of long-term homosexual relationships. In this, the case studies serve a purpose, as do Berzon's frequent references to her own 22-year lesbian relationship. And as she implies toward the end of her study, in the realm of gay and lesbian couples, psychotherapeutic theory and practice are not nearly as important as a generally affirmative attitude.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Berzon (Permanent Partners, LJ 11/15/88) continues to take a leading role in helping gay and lesbian couples establish more meaningful and long-lasting relationships. Drawing on her experience as a psychotherapist and lesbian in a 22-year partnership, she addresses the problems of communication, the challenge to keep growing, competing career demands, waning sexual relations, and unresolved familial issues. In addition to discussing how the universal demons of fear, rejection, and anger interfere with intimacy, in any relationship, she also focuses on issues unique to homosexual couples, such as the lack of institutional support, differences in each partner's coming out, and the absence of intergenerational gay and lesbian "family models." Berzon provides intelligent, practical, and compassionate advice on exploring and resolving conflicts. Anyone contemplating a serious relationship or already involved in one would likely benefit from her insights. Highly recommended for psychology and gay collections in public libraries.?Pamela W. Bellows, Northwestern Connecticut Community Technological Coll. Lib., Winstead
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.