To "invite a monkey to tea" is to befriend our own mind-which is often compared to a drunken monkey for all its mad twists and turns. A wild monkey is full of irrepressible desires, and thus chases its own tail in its search for happiness! This book is about learning to welcome the mind as ally without fear or resistance, thus relaxing that frantic search and resting in the joy of who we already are. As a psychotherapist, author Nancy Colier has accompanied hundreds of people in their "search for happiness" for nearly two decades. She has watched her clients try everything under the sun to be-and stay-happy. Witnessing and participating in this process, she has become an expert in happiness, or more specifically, in the monkey-mind's search and demand for it, and the unhappiness that all the striving ultimately creates. Along the way, the author has come to understand the workings of the mind-both from her clients and by her own diligent practice of meditation and self-observation. This book distills the wisdom and experience of her dedicated work, and offers readers a roadmap of the territory of mind, plus a toolbox of practical means for identifying and working gently with the unrealistic expectations that keep us from the enjoyment of who we are. Inviting a Monkey to Tea explains how to: * Identify addictive (and dead-end) approaches to happiness * Build a new relationship to self-caretaking, putting aside the tyranny of blame, fear, neglect and perfectionism * Befriend the mind, with gentleness and compassion * Enter and stay rooted in the present moment * Live with genuine wellbeing and lasting contentment This book takes the wisdom of Eastern philosophy and presents it in a way that people can feel safe to approach, understand, and ultimately apply within their lives. The book is a handshake between self-help and dharma (spiritual teaching). The author walks the reader, step by step, through the process of spiritual change toward and into a new identity-free from dependency on the idea of happiness as savior. Reading this book will generate its own profound metamorphosis. Readers will be softened, as they learn of others like themselves who have moved into this domain of self-acceptance. Nancy Colier is a brilliant guide who clearly marks this trail with her own presence, kindness and compassion. At this "tea party" the reader can relax, renew intention, self-examine, and choose a new road to lifelong contentment. "Nancy Colier reconsiders happiness in a way that dispels our illusions about it, bringing the joy we seek ever closer to us. Written from the perspective of someone who has walked the roads she takes us down." -- MARIANA CAPLAN, author Eyes Wide Open: Cultivating Discernment on the Spiritual Path. "An outstanding guidebook for journeying beyond futile and superficial searches for happiness to cultivating deep and abiding sources of well-being and grounded presence." -- DIANE BERKE, Founder & Spiritual Director, One Spirit Learning Alliance/One Spirit Interfaith Seminary "An engaging and readable guide to the process of befriending ourselves, discovering our intrinsic well-being, and beyond that, grounding in open, wakeful presence free from the grip of thought and emotion. The book's straightforward, unpretentious style makes this journey accessible to everyone. Highly recommended." -- JOHN WELWOOD, author Toward a Psychology of Awakening
Nancy Colier is a psychotherapist, interfaith minister, author and public speaker. A long time student of eastern spirituality, Nancy also spent 20 years as a nationally recognized, top-level equestrian, and has vast training in performance psychology and flow states. Her writing has been featured in numerous publications. She writes a regular blog for The Huffington Post and offers talks and workshops regularly. Nancy lives in Manhattan with her husband, two daughters, and a dog and cat.
