J.K. Rowling in

A satirical walk with J.K. Rowling through a typical day in her life sees her morph into absurd characters during altercations with the public as she attempts to sway politics whilst battling to control her husband who desperately seeks to escape his captivity.

When the day is over, what will Rowling find waiting for her when she walks through her front door and who is the mysterious entity lurking in the shadows?

Chapter Eight — Macbeth

Joanne prepared to stand, wanting to say something, threaten something, register a complaint maybe, demand respect, even thinking about the contents of her cleavage (a Harry Potter paperback, signed of course). That will show ’em, won’t it? she thought with the children in mind, who, it seemed, were headed somewhere to practise their parts in the ‘Scottish Play’, the lines of the bard’s famous work being recited by the majority of the group as they bounded through Edinburgh without a care in the world.

But Jo did not stand. Instead she remained seated due to hearing and recognising some of the lines and also seeing that a few of their number were clutching paperbacks in their hands as they skipped past her, laughing.

Mac … beth? she thought, her mind suddenly awash with painful memories.

Although the children were still in her view, she could no longer see them; she was somewhere else and sometime else—on stage, as a child, during a school production of Macbeth.…

Against her will, Joanne conjured the imagery of that night and recalled every word, glance and embarrassing moment. Paralysed, she watched the scene play out again as she had done a thousand or more times before.

She was on stage again, one of Shakespeare’s witches, the lead or ‘head’ witch as she thought of her role.

It was a packed crowd, standing room only—200 parents looked on expectantly, no fewer than 10 camcorders trained on Jo, as it came time for her line.…

With eyes still open, on the wall in Edinburgh, she saw the audience before her and the boy she liked holding hands with a girl from her class backstage.…

‘Joanne, you’re up!’ She heard her teacher shout to her as best as he could through whispered tones, but it was too late; the child Jo’s face reddened, with anger and then embarrassment, as a few children and then parents chuckled at the sight of the girl with the bright tomato-red face utterly lost for words.

On the wall, next to paupers’ park, all Joanne could do was wait another ten seconds before regaining control of her body and mind. There’s just one final scene, she thought, knowing full well what had to happen before being allowed to escape the involuntary trance.

The audience managed to contain themselves and their laughter when they saw how upset the girl was, but the silence was even worse for Jo as she took it to be pity, which she abhorred.

The laughter returned, however, when the girl, put out by the audience feeling sorry for her, blurted, ‘Screw you all! I don’t need you! One day, I will be BIG and then you will all lose. One day, I will be Macbeth and have all the power!’

The onlookers laughed for a myriad of reasons but primarily due to Macbeth’s end in the play not being all that great (Spoiler: He gets killed). They laughed due to Jo’s bad analogy.

Jo watched her younger self storm off stage, tripping over another one of the witches before cursing. ‘I hate everybody!’ she screamed. Then “playback” ended.

‘Damn Macbeth! It triggers me every time, but they’ve gone now, thank goodness. Now I can finish my sandwich … in peace!’

As Jo started to relax once more and attempted to think of anything but Macbeth, another group of children, far larger this time, turned the corner, all with the same book clutched in their palms or extruding from their pockets. Just moments later, Jo would be sent back in time again.…