Jake's Guide to Getting Into Hell (Paperback)
Ash Robacheaux
Sold by CitiRetail, Stevenage, United Kingdom
AbeBooks Seller since June 29, 2022
New - Soft cover
Condition: New
Ships from United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Quantity: 1 available
Add to basketSold by CitiRetail, Stevenage, United Kingdom
AbeBooks Seller since June 29, 2022
Condition: New
Quantity: 1 available
Add to basketPaperback. Envision the Bible as a bad acid trip scripted by a drunk Carlin crashing a Hobby Lobby after-party, where Balaam's donkey dropkicks Leviticus to a Darkthrone polka remix while Dahmer twists balloon indulgences that pop with holy-water spritzes: Jake's Guide to Getting into Hell is a snark-slinging scripture-shredder where Jesus ghosts your rom-com wet dreams ("He'd swipe left on your heart doodles, sinner"), purity rings double as "genital gong show" gag props, and trans saints lead glitter-flamethrower parades torching hypocrite toupees ("Leviticus banned crop tops too?"). Jaques, Robicheaux, and Bannerman's unholy trinity turns Catholic clown-car crimes into "horror-comedy specials" (priests peddling forgiveness like Florida timeshares) and Heaven's dress code into a "straitjacket with sequins," climaxing in Hell's bash where hyena-Hitler yaps rally fails, peacock-Caligula face-plants the punch bowl, and Satan the fox slings absinthe with a wink ("Chaos between friends?"). It's The Office meets The Exorcist-eternal damnation as the afterparty upgrade, with Ash's cleavage-confession mic drop to Jake's "raccoon-in-leather" loneliness stealing the encore. Grab a kazoo and yeet your halo; Heaven's got crickets, but Hell's got the whoopee-cushion pews and a devil with devilishly better punchlines.If you're offended by laughter, truth, or the sound of your own hypocrisy farting like a deflating balloon, close this book, yeet into a dumpster, and go back to your prayer circle where the only thing burning is the incense and your patience. Jake doesn't care about your delicate feelings; he's too busy giggling at the absurdity of it all. This isn't a hug. It's a whoopee cushion in the pew. Welcome to Hell This item is printed on demand. Shipping may be from our UK warehouse or from our Australian or US warehouses, depending on stock availability.
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