Paperback. Envision the Bible as a bad acid trip scripted by a drunk Carlin crashing a Hobby Lobby after-party, where Balaam's donkey dropkicks Leviticus to a Darkthrone polka remix while Dahmer twists balloon indulgences that pop with holy-water spritzes: Jake's Guide to Getting into Hell is a snark-slinging scripture-shredder where Jesus ghosts your rom-com wet dreams ("He'd swipe left on your heart doodles, sinner"), purity rings double as "genital gong show" gag props, and trans saints lead glitter-flamethrower parades torching hypocrite toupees ("Leviticus banned crop tops too?"). Jaques, Robicheaux, and Bannerman's unholy trinity turns Catholic clown-car crimes into "horror-comedy specials" (priests peddling forgiveness like Florida timeshares) and Heaven's dress code into a "straitjacket with sequins," climaxing in Hell's bash where hyena-Hitler yaps rally fails, peacock-Caligula face-plants the punch bowl, and Satan the fox slings absinthe with a wink ("Chaos between friends?"). It's The Office meets The Exorcist-eternal damnation as the afterparty upgrade, with Ash's cleavage-confession mic drop to Jake's "raccoon-in-leather" loneliness stealing the encore. Grab a kazoo and yeet your halo; Heaven's got crickets, but Hell's got the whoopee-cushion pews and a devil with devilishly better punchlines.If you're offended by laughter, truth, or the sound of your own hypocrisy farting like a deflating balloon, close this book, yeet into a dumpster, and go back to your prayer circle where the only thing burning is the incense and your patience. Jake doesn't care about your delicate feelings; he's too busy giggling at the absurdity of it all. This isn't a hug. It's a whoopee cushion in the pew. Welcome to Hell This item is printed on demand. Shipping may be from multiple locations in the US or from the UK, depending on stock availability.

Seller Inventory # 9798271171130

Contact seller

Report this item

Bibliographic Details

Title: Jake's Guide to Getting Into Hell (Paperback)
Publisher: Independently Published
Publication Date: 2025
Binding: Paperback
Condition: new

Store Description

Visit Seller's Storefront

Seller's business information

APOLLO ONLINE CORP.
605 Geddes Street, Wilmington, DE, 19805, U.S.A.

Sale & Shipping Terms

Terms of Sale

We guarantee the condition of every book as it�s described on the Abebooks web sites. If you�ve changed
your mind about a book that you�ve ordered, please use the Ask bookseller a question link to contact us
and we�ll respond within 2 business days.
Books ship from California and Michigan.

Shipping Terms

Orders usually ship within 2 business days. All books within the US ship free of charge. Delivery is 4-14 business days anywhere in the United States.

Books ship from California and Michigan.

If your book order is heavy or oversized, we may contact you to let you know extra shipping is required.

Shipping rates within U.S.A.

Shipping rates within U.S.A.
Order quantity	6 to 16 business days	6 to 14 business days
First item	US$ 0.00	US$ 0.00

Delivery times are set by sellers and vary by carrier and location. Orders passing through Customs may face delays and buyers are responsible for any associated duties or fees. Sellers may contact you regarding additional charges to cover any increased costs to ship your items.