Jews : 5,000 Years and Counting

From Adam & Eve to Zabar’s, this humorous survey of Jewish history is the most outrageous and unreliable account of the Jewish people’s wanderings since…the Torah.

“A hilarious and informative Judaism lesson wrapped in a comedy special.” —Jewish Journal

“A delightful companion to the Torah, the Talmud, and every history book every written about the Jewish people…a perfect book for anyone who has ever wondered how the heck the Jews got here and where the heck are we going and is it okay to laugh about it all? I’ll follow Kutner to the answer.” —Mayim Bialik, Actor, Author, Neuroscientist

A hilarious read for those with even the most basic level of Jewish knowledge, and the perfect gift for those who want to know more.

The Jews: 5,000 Years and Counting is packed with Jew-facts, Jew-figures, and the original, never-before-seen documents from those who lived through Jewish history. Read the transcript of the Biblical Patriarchs’ and Matriarchs’ Group Therapy Session! Sneak a peek at Moses’ Secret Diary, or check out the awkward “I’m dumping you” text chain from Spain to the Jews in 1492! Collect and trade Rabbi Action Cards!

Covering every major moment in Jewish history from the literal “Beginning” to Tuesday’s rerun of Seinfeld, this book will make you laugh. It might inadvertently make you learn. If you’re Jewish, it will unquestionably give you something to kvetch about.

Rob Kutner is an Emmy, Peabody, Grammy, and TCA-winning writer for late-night TV (The Daily Show, Conan), and animation (Teen Titans Go!, Ben10, Angry Birds: Summer Madness). He is also the author of the humor books Apocalypse How (Running Press, 2008) and The Future According to Me (Amazon Kindle Singles, 2014), the kids’ comedy-horror graphic novel Snot Goblins and Other Tasteless Tales (First Second, 2023), and the New York Times bestselling MCU in-universe Scott Lang memoir, Look Out for the Little Guy! (Hyperion Avenue, 2023). He has also written material for the Oscars, Emmys, and two White House Correspondents Dinners, and was named a “SuperJew” by Time Out New York. He is a graduate of Princeton University.