You Know You're 60 When . . .

Are you “getting on in years,” or know someone who is? Thinking of changing your birth certificate to show a more favorable birth date? You may lie about your age, but your age won’t lie to you!

            Not sure how to tell when you’re about to reach that fun sixtieth birthday? 

Here are some clues:
WebMD is your home page
When asked, “Who’s your doctor?” you have to reply, “Which one?”
An outbreak of acne makes you feel like a teenager again
At your class reunion, you note with satisfaction that the captain of the football team wears a hearing aid
The meadows where you sowed your wild oats are now shopping malls
That empty seat on the bus has your name on it
Your pharmacist greets you with “What’ll it be, pal?” 
 

Getting older is not only fun . . . it’s funny! And with You Know You’re 60 When . . ., you’ll be laughing as you go kicking and screaming over the hill, happily clutching your chest!

 

RICHARD SMITH, the writer in residence, is a forensic humorist whose bestselling books and calendars appear in twelve languages. His works include The Dieter’s Guide to Weight Loss During Sex, Newlyweds’ Guide to Sex on the First Night, The Bronx Diet, Bill Clinton’s Little Black Book, 364 Days and Nights of Sex (calendar series), Your Cat’s Just Not That Into You, You Know You’re 50 When . . . , 101 Uses for an Ex-Husband, Everything I Need to Know I Learned from My Dog, The Kitty Kama Sutra, the Bad Cat series of calendars, and “My Favorite Gurney” (a senior romp). He enjoys spear fishing, long walks, and agriculture.