You Know You're Fifty When

Whether you’re over the hill, approaching the hill, or rolling down it, this is the ultimate guide to life after 50—so get your readers and settle in!
 
Getting closer to the big Five-O? Know someone who is? Sure, 50 might be a scary number, but it’s also a state of mind, an opportunity to drape an afghan over your shoulders when you’re chilly or start enjoying cruises.
 
For anyone in denial about reaching the half-century milestone, New York Times bestselling author Richard Smith clues you in on certain signs that you can’t ignore. Because even if you feel like you’re at the top of your game, you know you’re 50 when . . .
 
• Blowing up balloons gets you winded.
• You start jogging with an ID.
• It can take up to fifteen minutes to climb out of a hammock.
• “Staying power” refers to remaining awake through Cats.
• You think menopause entitles you to park in a handicap zone.
• Your tailor diplomatically suggests it’s time to let out your barbecue apron.
• You actually start to obey the “Don’t Walk” signal.
• Florida starts looking good.
 
So go ahead and blow your retirement savings on cruises, trips to Paris, and plastic surgery—you’ve got another 50 years to go!

Richard Smith was a New York Times bestselling author whose books and calendars appear in many languages. His works include The Dieter's Guide to Weight Loss During Sex, Your Cat's Just Not That Into You, You Know You're 60 When . . ., Everything I Need to Know I Learned from My Dog, and the Bad Cat calendar series.