Learning To Begin Again: Daily Reflections On Recovering And Renewal presents a cognitive skill set based on the author's extensive experience as well as the teachings of spiritual leaders from both Eastern and Western traditions. It details and elucidates specific personality traits and qualities that are believed to be essential in leading a successful and contented life. During times of turmoil and distress it is vital for individuals to create structure and to focus on specific objectives to get them back "on track" Such a structure is presented here with practical activities, affirmative thoughts and motivating commentary to guide and support the reader as they cope with emotional confusion and daily uncertainty and frustration. This is not just another "self-help""feel-good" cliché, rather, "Learning To Begin Again" offers a new way of viewing the world with practical skills that will encourage growth and advancement.

Learning to Begin Again

Daily Reflections on Recovering and RenewalBy W. T. Watts

Trafford Publishing

Copyright © 2011 W. T. Watts
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4669-0736-2

Contents

Dedication...............................................................vAuthor Note..............................................................ixAcknowledgements.........................................................xiIntroduction.............................................................xiiiPart I Congratulations and Welcome.......................................1Part II Assessing Progress...............................................93Part III Reassessment, Reevaluation and Recommitting.....................185Part IV Renewal..........................................................211Part V Love, Wisdom Courage (Part 2).....................................313Appendix A. Thirteen Core Principles.....................................379Bibliography and Suggested References....................................381

Chapter One

Days 1 to 90

DAY 1—HUMILITY

"Rather to bow than to break is profitable;/ Humility is a thing commendable." (Anonymous)

PREMISE

To live effectively, one needs to understand and ultimately accept, boundaries, limits and impediments. Primarily the issue for mental health and wellbeing is to distinguish between what you can and can't control. To be humble is to value yourself and understand your limits. Through humility you view the world realistically and therefore, more effectively. Weaknesses exist as learning opportunities. Each interaction, every thought and feeling, at any moment, can serve as a clue to answer where, when and how we are to proceed. The necessary components to decipher such clues are intent to learn and to do the next best thing as well as awareness of our surroundings and the effects of our thoughts, feelings and actions.

INTENTION

I will begin to realize that I am responsible for my life and my current situation. Humility will guide me in deciding my path. I will ask for help and support. I will learn that there is a power beyond me whether that is in a person, group or philosophy. I am responsible and I can choose. I have the strength to embark on this journey because I now know that true power resides behind my eyes not in front of them.

AWARENESS

Today, I will be aware of what I can and can't control as well as the effects of my behavior and decisions those I love and myself. I can make so I shall choose carefully. W. T. Watts, Ph.D.

DAY 2—GRATITUDE

"All is beautiful and life is thankfulness." (Guilin Song)

PREMISE

Gratitude is an essential component to the joy of life. Although it is generally defined as "thankfulness", gratitude comes from the Latin word "pleasing." We become grateful for something that pleases us and it pleases others when we express our thankfulness. Most importantly, gratitude requires an awareness or acknowledgement by one person about the beneficial and beneficent actions of another. Such awareness is propagated by humility. Once we appreciate our need for others and once we begin to trust in the life-affirming plan of the Cosmos, we generate a process wherein we see the gifts and bounty bestowed on us every moment of each day.

INTENTION

I can and will begin my progression towards gratitude. I will start viewing the world and my place in it from a perspective of unity and "we", rather than the narrow self-centered view of my past. I will intend, starting today, to see life as beneficent and fulfilling rather than malevolent and depriving. I have the power to choose to free myself from the self-created chains of regret, despair and resentment that keep me stagnant and filled with self-pity.

AWARENESS

For today, I plan to seek opportunities to express my gratitude to those around me and to my Higher Power for the help and insight offered for my growth. I will be aware of their reactions as well as my own feelings during this new endeavor.

DAY 3—ACCEPTANCE

"All pain comes from a futile search for what you want, insisting that it must be." A Course in Miracles (1976)

PREMISE

Acceptance guides us and is instrumental in the achievement of growth and contentment. It requires the courage, trust and humility to surrender to what is, so that each skill or trait (humility, gratitude, acceptance and patience) builds upon and reinforces the other. For wisdom, love and courage (our ultimate goals) to operate effectively in daily living, we must choose to accept that which we cannot control. The fact is that despite our wishes to the contrary, we control very little. Exercising the trait of acceptance, therefore, allows us to avoid a great deal of distress caused by our delusion of power.

An integral part of acceptance is forgiveness. Forgiveness frees us from the anger and resentment we choose to live in. This negative force is used as an excuse to avoid the self-responsibility of growth and progress. We often prefer to "romance" negative thoughts of revenge and retaliation rather than to face our obligation to advance and to become the person we were created to be. Acceptance allows us to move on.

INTENTION

I have the strength, courage and endurance, right now, to make a decision to change the course of my life. I choose to trust in the plan of a Higher Power. I may not know either the plan or the source of guidance, at this time, but I do know that my past efforts have only brought me dissatisfaction, distress and depression. Now is the time to change and now is the time to act.

AWARENESS

Today I will focus on what I can change. I can start with my attitude and my acceptance of a new plan.

DAY 4—PATIENCE/TRUST

"How poor are they that have not patience? What wound did ever heal but by degrees?" (Othello, Act 2, William Shakespeare)

PREMISE

Patience is one of the four pillars or spiritual traits that sustains love, wisdom and courage. It is a compassionate quality that emanates from and yet reinforces, humility, gratitude and acceptance. As such it helps create a continuing cycle of wellness and spirituality. Patience is the caring, nurturing mother, caressing and reassuring the growing child. It is the feeling of security that soothes the "child- self" and says that no matter the frustration or disappointment all will be well if I just trust in the goodness in life's process. All things work out, maybe not as we expect or would like, but, as they should for the Good of all.

INTENTION

I can generate the imagination and trust to choose patience over anger and frustration in my daily interactions. I now realize that a conflict that frustrates and frightens me is simply something that I wish were different but that I can't control. I can face my fear of uncertainty and ineffectiveness with acceptance. I can trust that things will be okay and that there are lessons to be learned.

AWARENESS

Tonight I will reflect on one instance where I choose patience over anger or frustration. I will begin a journal to note my daily successes and disappointments.

DAY 5—HUMILITY

"Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth." (Matthew, 5:4-10)

PREMISE

To be humble is to be strong, grounded or solid. Humility is a source of strength because it helps us understand and accept what we can't control. Thus, we can become more effective in achieving our goals because we focus our energy where it is most useful. As we gain wisdom, we begin to see the limits of our power and we are then able to adjust our energy to that perception. Strength and competence is the product of this realization. We develop genuine power because it is born of truth and courage. We prioritize actions as we direct awareness and energize intent to the areas of most significant consequence.

INTENTION

I can do this. I can confront change and the fear that accompanies this challenge. I am strong because my Higher Power is always with me. At any moment, I can connect with my spiritual self that is the source of my courage. I know it is now time for me to move on, grow and evolve. If it were easy, I would have already attained my goals. But I have strength and for today I will persevere.

AWARENESS

Today, I will consider how little control I have over others. I will note one instance where I alter my habit of interfering or managing another and I will observe the consequences of this behavior.

DAY 6—GRATITUDE

"Gratitude is not only the greatest virtue but the parent of all others." Cicero (21 B.C.E.)

PREMISE

Gratitude stems from humility and adds to the emergence of other spiritual skills and dispositions necessary for contentment and fulfillment. If we take nothing for granted and genuinely understand our role in the unfolding of the Universe, we will develop humility and from this perspective strengthen appreciation for the incredible bounty that infuses our daily life. This is a working definition of gratitude and is the result of persistence, dedication and changed attitudes. It is not easy but the reward is great.

INTENTION

Today I realize that my intent is extremely powerful and for today I will develop the courage to be humble. In this way, I will expand my awareness and be grateful. I will shed the arrogance of independence and embrace the concept of connectedness. I will see the magnitude of the kindness and generosity of others. I am indeed blessed and so appreciative.

AWARENESS

I will make an extra effort today to expand my awareness of the numerous acts of kindness and generosity that surround me. I will increase my gratitude for all things I am and especially for those things that I am not.

DAY 7—ACCEPTANCE

"O God, give us the serenity to accept what can't be changed ..." Reinhold Niebuhr (1934)

PREMISE

Genuine "acceptance" is difficult to achieve due to the severe fear and vulnerability that accompany it. To trust that issues will "work out", that moods will pass, that relationships will heal takes a leap of faith that for many is to take a leap off of a cliff. Acceptance acknowledges an establishment of limits, a submission of will, and a discarding of the arrogance of omnipotence. The natural and familiar response of our "child-self" is to scream, protest and tantrum. The truth is that "acceptance" is simply choosing reality and rejecting misconception and self-deceit. It signals a new perspective, a change in problem solving, a life approach that embraces trust and a desire to learn rather than manage. We now understand true "humility", interdependence and helplessness.

INTENTION

I have the strength to comprehend my weaknesses and the trust to progress despite doubt, deficiency and defensiveness. I can choose to face the reality of change, to confront my fears. To know my vulnerability is to know my strength. I have support and I am certain that I can do this one small step at a time.

AWARENESS

Today I will make a sincere effort to allow others to be themselves despite my desire to micro-manage and control. I will be alert to my feelings, especially frustration, but I will become an "observer" rather than CEO.

DAY 8—PATIENCE

"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble." Titus Maccius Plantus (212 B.C.E.)

PREMISE

Patience allows us the opportunity to pause, reflect and thereby delay or eliminate impulsive reaction to habits, feelings and false needs. When we choose patience, we delay gratification, sharpen judgment and eschew indiscretion. It is truly the "pause that refreshes." Patience serves as a reminder to strive for detachment and objectivity, thereby mitigating unpleasant emotion and revitalizing intellect. Such choice gives us respite to ponder what is and what is not within our power. Patience gives time the space to help us gather the courage to break old habits of instinctive and biased response. It allows us to learn before we repeat mistakes. Through patience we are able to effectively evaluate both our actions and the reactions of others in the present, avoiding resentment, remorse and retribution in the future.

INTENTION

Only I have the power to change me. It is no one's responsibility but my own. I create my life, its problems and it's triumphs. However, I must develop more patience. Change takes time and I have no control over the amount of time needed. It's a long, never ending process of frustration, learning and success. I will improve my awareness and re-energize my intent as needed, but I will never give up. Each day, each opportunity, I will attempt to complete the next good thing and I will move on in acceptance, love and respect.

AWARENESS

Today, I will be extra alert to feelings of frustration. I will describe these feelings in my journal and I will note the circumstances where they were encountered today. Learning To Begin Again

DAY 9—HUMILITY

"I believe that the first test of a really great man is his humility." John Ruskin (1850)

PREMISE

To realize and to understand how little we really control will initially arouse feelings of fear and vulnerability. We tend to be subject to delusions of control and self-importance, so the child- self does not give up without a fight. We needed these delusions as infants but they are now simply destructive and useless remnants of the past. We can surmount these unpleasant appendages by believing and trusting in a plan greater than ourselves. This includes the presumption that our life is unique and meaningful and everything that happens to us can be an opportunity to learn. This progression is an active, decision-making process that presents a choice. Shall we remain in the perspective of the past or shall we face fear and move forward to fulfill our unique mission in life? Now is the time to begin and only you can choose.

INTENTION

I have the courage to face truth. This is a first step and solely my responsibility. I believe that humility is the perspective of trust and patience in a plan that I can't control. I can control how I view the plan as well as my feelings and reactions to it. I can make it my intention to focus on these issues as I live my daily life. Whatever circumstance I face today will be viewed with the premise that it has a purpose and a lesson specifically for me.

AWARENESS

I will note in my journal tonight two instances where I faced fear and choose acceptance. I will also note my feelings about this change in perspective.

DAY 10—GRATITUDE

"Developing a true sense of gratitude involves taking absolutely nothing for granted." Albert Schweitzer (1910)

PREMISE

It is exceedingly difficult to genuinely acknowledge the bounty we are given. It is hard to even ascertain. Our child-self asserts that we need nothing and that all we have is due to our control, our efforts. This is another destructive delusion we use to abate our fear of dependence and vulnerability. The child-self hides and denies needing anything that he/she can't provide. As such we live life certain that we "deserve" what we have and oblivious (and therefore unappreciative) of the Good, kind and beneficent powers surrounding us. We don't hear the compliments, we don't see the smiles and we don't feel the touch. The child-self confines us to a lonely, delusional world where we need no one and have no weakness, where everything is delivered on demand with no delay, disruption or distress.

INTENTION

I can listen to Dr. Schweitzer. I can take nothing for granted and realize that all I have has been given through the kindness of others or the beneficence of fate. Where I live, what I own, the state of my health are all unique to me and serve the purpose of enabling me to contribute to life as only I can. My very breath, my life, my friends and my possessions confirm that my Higher Power has blessed me each moment of my existence. I have simply chosen not to see this to protect my ego.

AWARENESS

I will make a special effort to be thankful and I will be more alert to the joys of life and the talents, friends and assets, I have been given.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Learning to Begin Againby W. T. Watts Copyright © 2011 by W. T. Watts. Excerpted by permission of Trafford Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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