This is a beautifully written and compelling autobiography, about the emotional complexities of individuals in families, how every child in a family has different parents. When Janis Ahlenberg is twelve, a turn of family events leads to Janis being prematurely pressed out into the world. Many years later—as a mature professional woman who is undergoing the painful dislocation of divorce after having been a wife for thirty years, and a mother—she returns to this family of origin to find that florid mental illness has dominated the family homelife for decades. In this vivid portrait of tragedy, adaptation, and survival, surprising moments of amusement and sometimes hilarity surface. Questions arise about how sibling relationships, family constitution, and personal experience plays a role in making us who we are. Ultimately, however, it’s one question in particular—Where did it all start?—that grabs hold of Ahlenberg and leads her to explore the what, the where, and the persistence of love.
"The struggle in adulthood to heal and transcend is riveting, and the role of significant loving relationships in recovery from trauma is poignant. The author's experience as a psychotherapist enables her to tell the story with insight that is not often seen in memoirs. A touching tale of courage and transcendence."
--Bruce Carruth, PhD, psychotherapist
"Ahlenberg's powerful human interest story will resonate with anyone who has had to overcome a difficult childhood and deal with the complexities of family relationships. Leave the Lights On When You Go is an honest, moving account of a true survivor and written with the grace of a poet."
-- Chris Welles Feder, author of In My Father's Shadow: A Daughter Remembers Orson Welles
"Within the mirror of this unique story of sibling relationships, readers will surely catch a reflection of their own family dramas. In this beautifully crafted and deeply compassionate memoir, the author retraces her life's trajectory in a quest to reconcile the divide between her siblings, her family, and herself."
--Mindy Lewis, author of Life Inside: A Memoir