Leaving the Enchanted Forest: The Path from Relationship Addiction to Intimacy

Advice and step-by-step guidelines for those seeking to recover from addictive relationships.

Stephanie Covington and Liana Beckett examine the roots of destructive attachments, using the chemical dependency model to show how romantic infatuation hardens into compulsion.

Detailed chapters trace a four-stage progression of relationship addiction, charting the shift from initial euphoric highs to painful neediness.

Across each section, case histories illustrate how unresolved early wounds, rigid household roles, and parental alcoholism shape adult partnerships. Structured exercises and diagnostic questionnaires provide practical tools for evaluating personal background and establishing firm emotional boundaries.

• Codependent Patterns: Retells the medieval myth of Tristan and Iseult to demonstrate how romantic obsessions and rescue fantasies mask an underlying fear of abandonment.
• Family Systems: Explores the four rigid roles adopted in troubled homes—the hero, scapegoat, lost child, and mascot—and uses genograms to trace crossgenerational dysfunction.
• Inner Child Work: Outlines methods for reparenting the vulnerable self by replacing self-punishment with creative play, spontaneous expression, and compassionate self-empathy.
• Self-Help Workbook: Features structured inventories, relationship history charts, and diagnostic questionnaires adapted from Twelve-Step recovery principles.
• Building True Intimacy: Details the essential elements of healthy adult partnership, focusing on mutual choice, reciprocal empathy, and an equal balance of power between peers.

Stephanie Covington, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, an internationally known speaker specializing in dependency, and the author of many articles on women and addiction. She lives in La Jolla, California. Liana Beckett, who has an M.S. in marriage, family, and child counseling, works with individuals, couples, and groups with dysfunctional or addictive family backgrounds. She lives in San Diego, California.