Live From the Beginning of Time: Late Night Comedy Monologues Through the Ages

Imagine since the beginning of time, late-night talk show hosts walked the earth while commenting on the day’s events. Author Ben Alper looks at history through the delightfully distorted lens of these evening comedic commentators.

Their monologues crack wise about then-current events—From 2,000,000 BC when Homo Erectus first rose up on two legs and cried, “I have extra sandals for sale,” to 1892 AD when Lizzie Borden introduced America to anger management.

What historical figures are saying:

“I laughed until I conquered.” -- Attila the Hun

“If I’ve read anything funnier, it escapes me.” -- Harry Houdini

“My comedy is Divine, but Ben Alper’s is Da Bomb.” -- Dante Alighieri

“Speak softly and carry a big shtick.” -- Theodore Roosevelt