How to Live with a Neurotic Cat

Modern life takes its toll on felines, as Baker and Geyer aptly demonstrate in this comic guide to help cat owners identify--and survive--their pets' eccentricities.

Introduction

And then God created a furry lump which, for the lack of a better name, He called the Cat. He looked at His creation and shook His head. It wasn't exactly what He had in mind.

He held the thing up in the air and it hung limply from His fingers. He dropped it to the ground, and it spread out in all directions as flat as a pancake. And when he crossed the forelegs across its chest and folded the hind legs into a lotus position, that is exactly where the limbs stayed.

His curiosity piqued, He turned the body over, stretching it to almost twice its length. He rolled it into a small ball, twisting, bending, kneading it. The thing did not even open its eyes.

He rubbed His beard incredulously, He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He knew of course that what He had just created was less than a miracle.

But there was no time to make changes, not with the seven-day deadline around the corner.

"Oh well," He shrugged. "You can't win them all."

With not a moment to spare upon its arrival on Earth, the cat curled up and went back to sleep.