I Can Do This: Living with Cancer, Tracing a Year of Hope

I Can Do This tells the story of this last year and a half of my life after being diagnosed with 4th stage, metastasized, inoperable cancer. I will never forget that day. The doctors spoke directly and clearly.

"This is what we suggest, Mrs. Fead: three weeks of heavy chemo in the hospital—you’ll get very sick, lose your hair. When you’ve healed from that treatment, we will resection your stomach. It’s a very slow recovery. Then three more weeks of twenty-four-hour-a-day chemo into the site. Let’s see, this is Friday. We should schedule you for Monday. We can’t miss this window of opportunity."

"And if I decide not to do this?" I responded. "I’m not sure I could survive this, and I’m certainly not ready to give up my life as I know it by Monday." I looked into the faces of those two bright young doctors as they answered my question. "We think you would have about two months." Blur. White noise. So much of it I didn’t hear, couldn’t hear.

I went to another doctor. It was as though the heavens opened. I began an experimental treatment of Femara and Lupron. When the doctor explained the program, I thought to myself then, this is the treatment I’m going with. I decided to do what was best for me. Other individuals must decide on and do what is best for them. Now, two years later, I am playing tennis, hiking the highest mountains, luxuriating in my grandchildren, and relishing the richness of my life.

Today, all of my tumors are still in place. I live well with my cancer, and I think to myself, "If I can do, there is hope you can too."

Beverlye Hyman Fead is a California artist. Having grown up and continued schooling in L.A., she studied art at UCLA and then continued her studies with Charles Bragg, Arnold Mesches, and Ruth Munson. In 1984, she moved to Santa Barbara and continued her studies with Michael Drury. She’s had one-person shows in L.A., Aspen and New York, which included Bloomingdales, Dyanson Galleries and Cartier, along with several group shows. For a period of ten years, Hyman Fead designed ceramics, going to Deruta Italy, and working in the factory of Ubaldo Grazia. Restaurants in Santa Barbara that carry her ceramics include: Stella Mare, Mollies and Cava.

Her impressionist colors vary from cadmium reds, prussian blues to sap greens and burnt umbers. Lately she has broadened her palette to include dark backgrounds in order to compliment her vibrant colors. Her love of flowers and fruit is evident in every painting she does. Recently orchids and her Zen environment have inspired her new series.

After having been diagnosed with cancer in late 2000, Beverlye combined painting with her old love, writing poetry. Her first subject matter was a self-portrait with her poem, "Tears" painted on it. Beverlye’s piece was then digitalized for a cancer project. The project, documenting eight cancer patients, was then made into a documentary film created and produced by Jo-Anne Blatter, Jennie Rennish and Justin Rowe entitled, "The Aphrodite Project".

Having lost her grandmother, mother, and both sisters to cancer, Beverlye has devoted a great deal of time to cancer on many levels. One of them was raising money and creating a waiting room for cancer patients in Santa Barbara’s Cottage Hospital. This room is filled with her paintings and ceramics. Wanting to inspire other cancer patients with her art and writing then seemed a natural direction to take after being diagnosed with cancer herself.