Living with Inattentive ADHD: Climbing the Circular Staircase of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

"I have never met a person with ADHD who was not constantly bedeviled by self-doubt." — Dr. William Dodson, from the Foreword
 
Cynthia Hammer wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until she was 49. By then, she'd already spent a lifetime quietly explaining away a life that didn't add up — the missed appointments, the forgotten reservations, the sense that she was somehow always getting it wrong. She'd also survived a night on open water that nearly killed her, decades before she had a name for the impulsivity that put her there.
 
Living with Inattentive ADHD is Cynthia's unflinching memoir of what it's like to move through the world with a brain that works differently — and no one, including yourself, knows it yet. It's a story of a marriage, a career in social work, three sons, a devastating loss she carried in silence for over twenty years, and the slow, hard-won process of understanding that none of it was a character flaw. It was ADHD.
 
Written with the same honesty and dark humor that made her one of the first ADHD activists in the country — she founded one of the earliest nonprofits for adults with ADHD in 1992 — this memoir doesn't just describe inattentive ADHD from the outside. It shows you exactly what it feels like from within: the shame before diagnosis, the grief that surfaces after it, and the years it takes to rebuild a life around the truth instead of around the mask.
 
You'll walk away understanding:

• Why inattentive ADHD is so often missed — especially in women who "function" on the outside
• What it actually feels like to live with undiagnosed ADHD for decades, told through one woman's real, specific, sometimes harrowing experiences
• How diagnosis in midlife can bring relief and grief at the same time — and how to move through both
• What it takes to go from shame to self-acceptance, and finally, to advocacy

Cynthia Hammer is the founder of two ADHD-focused non-profit organizations: ADD Resources and The Inattentive ADHD Coalition. She founded and ran ADD Resources for 15 years, a few years after she was diagnosed herself, focused on helping adults recognize their ADHD and learn how to improve their lives. During her tenure as Executive Director, she hosted annual conferences, produced a popular booklet The ADD Reader, and maintained a website with numerous articles and resource links. Founded in March 2021, the second one exists to create more awareness about Inattentive ADHD and the dangers of its under-diagnosis. Fueled by her Master's in Social Work and her experiences with ADHD, she seeks to share her unique perspective on how ADHD affects one's life.