Love. Crash. Rebuild.: Alternatives to Distance, Destruction, and Divorce

A roadmap for couples in crisis to repair and reset their relationship

Conflict and turmoil—the intimacy of everyday life—is the foundation great relationships are built on. Creating and maintaining a great marriage, relationship, or partnership is hard work, but nobody teaches you how to do it. Based on decades of helping couples address conflict and achieve long-lasting love, the authors created a simple five-step process for reconciling differences, taking couples in crisis from rupture to repair. Their tool—the PACER model (Pause, Accountability, Collaboration, Experiment, and Reset)—takes into account cultural differences, past hurts, and current crises. It is an opportunity for not just healing but for growth. Packed with dozens of client anecdotes, interactive exercises, and stories of the authors’ relationship as a mixed-race couple.

Love. Crash. Rebuild. is grounded in the language of diversity and offers readers in any type of romantic partnership—straight, gay, nonbinary, interracial, etc.—a single toolbox that can help bring a new understanding that makes real change possible and what a successful relationship should look like.

Mark B. Borg, Jr., PhD, is a community and clinical psychologist and a psychoanalyst practicing in New York City. He is a founding partner of The Community Consulting Group, a consulting firm that trains community stakeholders, local governments, and other organizations to use psychoanalytic techniques in community rebuilding and revitalization. He is a supervisor of psychotherapy at the William Alanson White Institute and has written extensively about the intersection of psychoanalysis and community crisis intervention. He is the author of Don't Be a Dick and coauthor of the Irrelationship series. 

Haruna Miyamoto-Borg is a licensed psychotherapist with more than fifteen years of experience working in New York City in private practice. She specializes in working with couples of diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, social-class, and sexual orientations. Early in her career, she dedicated herself to working in the not-for-profit sector. She worked for the Center for Urban Community Services—the largest non-profit organization serving the homeless population in New York City. Currently, Miyamoto-Borg is in training at the prestigious Ackerman Institute for The Family in New York City. Her blog on Psychology Today is entitled "Couples and Culture."