As she prepares to celebrate the wedding of her youngest child, Pat is rocked to the core with news that something is wrong inside her body. She resolves to face the rare illness just as she has confronted other challenges: head on. After all, life is racing ahead, and it's all she can do to keep up. With her mother's health declining, Pat assumes the role of family matriarch, all the while aware she herself eventually will pass it to future generations through her daughters. For now, it's up to her to continue the family tradition of writing and saving letters that hold together an extended group of her four adult children, growing list of grandchildren, three brothers, and numerous relatives and friends, despite the boundaries of geography. Pat and her family battle hurricanes, medical emergencies and relationship pains. They also share their love of life with big news about romance, babies, job promotions, travel and everyday pleasures. When Pat is forced to make a life-changing decision, she finds that she has support from more than just her family. She also has the inner strength she has carried all along.
Love of Life
By Patsy Gilbert ColemanAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2011 Patsy Gilbert Coleman
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4490-9087-6Contents
Chapter One — Online at Last...................................1Chapter Two — Still Learning...................................17Chapter Three — Desserts of Life...............................47Chapter Four — Listening in Faith..............................63Chapter Five — Laboratory Tests................................73Chapter Six — Life-Altering Events.............................83Chapter Seven — Liberty........................................97Chapter Eight — A Last Goodbye.................................108Chapter Nine — Lilting Interval................................129Chapter Ten — In Light of Everything...........................153Chapter Eleven — Loud and Clear................................168Chapter Twelve — Lucky Lady....................................183Chapter Thirteen — Memory Lane.................................198Chapter Fourteen — Family Legacies.............................215Chapter Fifteen — An Eighth Layette............................229Chapter Sixteen — Levels of Control............................246Chapter Seventeen — Light and Dark Loads.......................267Chapter Eighteen — Lagniappe...................................279Chapter Nineteen — Literary Pursuits...........................290Chapter Twenty — Likenesses....................................301Chapter Twenty-One — Amazing Little People.....................318Chapter Twenty-Two — Long and Short of It......................325Chapter Twenty-Three — Lifts and Shifts........................343Chapter Twenty-Four — Landfall.................................356Chapter Twenty-Five — Layers of Love...........................370Chapter Twenty-Six — Laughing Out Loud.........................382Chapter Twenty-Seven — Lingering Memories......................402Chapter Twenty-Eight — Living Quarters.........................412Chapter Twenty-Nine — Devastating Loss.........................430Chapter Thirty — All the Latest................................439Epilogue.............................................................461Family Photos........................................................467
Chapter One
Online at Last 1998
Subject: Online at last Date: 10/26/98 From: Pat To: Family and friends
Hey, everyone. I'm now set up to participate in the world of electronic mail — what fun to see that little mailbox flag pop up. I marvel at how far we've come from those days when I waited by the mailbox for a letter my groom had written on a U.S. Navy ship weeks before.... Lots to figure out, but Pam gave me a book, and as soon as I've read all 520 pages, I'll probably know everything! I'm sending my love and an electronic smile to all of you.
November 1, 1998
Dear Diary,
It's Pat here, with a little note about Mom I don't want to forget. While straightening things in her apartment the other day, I saw a notebook in which she'd written these few lines that made me tear up and smile at the same time:
Words by George Washington Carver: "I refuse to belittle my soul by letting any man hate me." This is a lonely day. Fall is always sad and lonely with memories. But God always helps me with that! God is my friend, my very best friend. He walks with me all the time and makes me peaceful. It's so wonderful to have Him in my life — taking care of all my anxieties that I imagine are out there.
Subject: No more Honda Date: 11/4/98 From: David To: Family
Well, I told Mom last night on the phone, but then it was too late to call all of you. I was in a doozy of a wreck last night, and nobody was injured seriously. An older man turned left in front of me, my car went off the side of the road, between (not into, thankfully) two large poles and landed in a ditch. Both cars were totaled. Good that my sunroof was open and I could climb out, as neither car door would open. Quite a circus with three fire trucks, three police cars, and two or three dozen bystanders.
I have a very sore back and neck, cuts and scrapes, and huge bruises around the neck and chest from the seatbelt. I'm saying a prayer for the passenger in the car at fault, an older lady who'd recently had heart surgery. She was taken to the hospital to be checked over. One more important note: I consider myself lucky to have walked away, and I think I will appreciate life more from this day forward. Love to everybody.
Subject: Phone call Date: 11/4/98 From: Mom To: David
Davey, I am so sorry about the accident, and so thankful it was not more serious. Getting very banged up, scraped, bruised and contused, hurting your back, the shock and scare and trauma of the collision itself, and the loss of your car — all that's a lot to absorb. I'm thinking about you, saying a profusely grateful prayer that you were able to call me. Wishing you luck with all matters as you begin the process of recovering. I love you, David.
Subject: Re: No more Honda Date: 11/4/98 From: Robin To: David
David, I'm so thankful you're okay, little brother. Please let us know if you need one of us to come down and help you with anything. I love you.
Subject: News to nephews Date: 11/7/98 From: Aunt Pat To: Griff and Adam
Hi, guys. I'm sure your dads have told you about David's car accident and how thankful everyone is that he came out of it without more serious injuries. As your dad said after your wreck, Adam, we can replace a car but not a precious son.
Nana GeeGee wanted me to tell you both hello and send you some "sugar" by this new-fangled type of mail. I just took her home to "Shady Pines" (that's what she's taken to calling the assisted living complex). She had eye surgery this afternoon, after which we came back to the condo for an early supper of sausage, peppers and onions over rice, a favorite of hers. 'Course, she enjoys all food, as you know. And Nana's comment after this second cataract surgery: "I'm sure glad I don't have three eyes."
Subject: Address distress Date: 11/7/98 From: Mom-Pat To: Family and friends
Hmm, I now see it's quite important to place little dots (or not!) in the correct places when addressing e-mail. I've received several notices from "Mailer Daemon" that certain e-mails couldn't be delivered. From now on, I'll need to be more careful.
November 8, 1998 Orlando, Florida
Trinidad, West Indies Dearest Naema,
I'm still excited over your phone call recently and the news of the safe arrival of Raemus, your firstborn, the strong little prince who will forever have your heart. Thank you for letting him hear my voice in a "welcome to our world." I'd love to be able to hold him. Send pictures soon, okay? Of course, I already know you are a beautiful family.
Isn't it wonderful how full of love and joy you feel just seeing, holding, hearing, feeling, even smelling your baby? Oh yes, what a gift, "a part of God we get to hold." You'll never be the same, your life will forever be profoundly changed because of Raemus. Welcome to parenthood!
And on that subject, here's a bit of an update on my kiddos. Fresh on my mind is the close call we had with my youngest son, David, 28. He was in an auto accident but, thanks be to God, he came out of it with no severe injuries. David lives in South Florida with his girlfriend Pam — Stuart is only 135 miles from Orlando, but at times like this, that's still too far away for this mom.
I'm lucky to have my oldest daughter Robin, 43, and second-born, Jenni, 41, living close by. They are both well, but working outside the home while raising a family leaves them little time for rest or recreation. Skip, 39, and his family also lead busy lives in Arlington, Virginia. I love that the children feel so close to each other — they all came together with phone calls and e-mails after David's accident.
The grandkids are great — and, oh my, so precious to me. At 16, good-looking Nicholas is the oldest and a typical teenager. Quint's a 9-year-old sweetie, and the little cousins Kathryn and Samantha, both 6, are pretty much inseparable, and so darn cute. Then the two youngest are Bo, a precocious 2-year-old, and his baby sister Caroline, 8 months. They all are truly the "desserts of life."
My mom is situated in a nearby assisted living complex and perking along quite well. But I know she has periods when she still misses my dad, who died 10 years ago. All three of Mom's "boys" keep in close contact withher, though. My brother Sam and wife Karina are in California, John and Kathie live in New Mexico and part-time in Mississippi, and Rickey is settled in Georgia. They call often, and we all look forward to their visits to Orlando.
That about catches you up in matters of the family. Except some good news that has all of my loved ones (me, too!) less concerned for my welfare. Auntie Bussie — remember, I told you about her — died earlier this year, and I received an unexpected windfall from her estate. Oh, how blessed I am by her generous gift.
I send love to you, sweet Naema — and a fond hello to Zakiya and Amril, your dear, very "cool" parents.
Pat
Subject: Mom's money musings Date: 11/9/98 From: Mom To: Robin, Jenni, Skip, David
Just received a financial statement reporting last month's profit — on paper, anyway. Well, I'd always heard it takes money to make money, and I guess it's so. It boggles my mind! Still, I am happy to be mired down in all these matters of high finance. Auntie Bussie, we all thank you — You, too, God.
How Auntie must have chuckled over her secret through the years, especially once or twice as she lamented that handling money was a lot of work, and I allowed as how I wouldn't mind experiencing that kind of trouble, for a while, at least. Now, with a nice investment portfolio and the homework, decisions, appointments, etc., involved in setting up a Certified Investment Planning account, a Revocable Trust, and a Last Will and Testament, I see what she meant. Nice work, though. Love from your monied mommy.
November 9, 1998 Dear Diary,
Writing to the kids about having money now reminded me of something I wrote years ago when Jenni asked me for ideas on how to budget and learn to manage her meager finances. She knew I'd had lots of experience — oh, yes, how well I remember those times. I gave it much thought and composed a list of suggestions:
Thoughts on Budgeting and Saving
1. Get psyched up for the ultimately satisfying challenge of adhering to a budget, overcoming financial distress, saving steadily. 2. Set a time goal, one year or more, during which you are committed — and don't give up! 3. Save every receipt to compare with every cent that comes in for a month to determine exactly your earnings and how the money is spent. 4. Start immediately saving some amount, even if it's only $5 per week, right off the top. Don't touch it. You could keep it put aside at home, or open a separate bank account just for these (at first very small) amounts. 5. Spend a few dollars less on groceries each week. Scrutinize the receipts to see where changes can be made. Save and use coupons, and look for stores that offer double-coupon savings. Tell me your favorites, and I'll save them for you, too. 6. Consider, for now, a longer, one-length hairstyle that requires cutting less frequently. And decide that new clothes and any and all extras from department and drug stores will be verboten. Also lunches, dinners and movies are costly, whereas a picnic in the park is not. 7. As for cars, buying a new car is probably a wise move, but not while you're struggling. I've had good luck with buying used cars. When the time comes to shop for a car, take a firm-minded person along (your sister Robin?), decide on your price, and don't waver, just walk out. 8. Remember, when interest rates are low but you're paying 18% on debts, you're losing money.
9. Jenni, I know it's hard to make such drastic changes but it can be done, and sometimes must be. I have more ideas to help you after you get your new regime worked out. I hope all this is taken in the way it's meant: I love you, I'm concerned, and I want to help. Good luck, my Jenni-Jewel.
Subject: Weekends Date: 11/13/98 From: Griff To: Family
Off to Harker's Island on the Outer Banks with my very special lady friend, Susan. Harker's is a desolate island where fishing is still passed down generation-to-generation, and where the natives build boats without any plans. The inhabitants have red hair and blue eyes, we're told. Biggest news here is my acceptance into Appalachian State. This was a real walk of faith for me, being completely honest about my past, and everything worked out. Life is good today. I am clean, I am happy, I have direction. I thank God daily for that. I love you all.
November 13, 1998 Orlando, Florida
Boone, North Carolina Hey, sweetie Griff,
Just as I've never doubted you'd one day be healed, whole in every way — free from your addictions — I've always felt you'd meet a very special someone with whom to share your love and your special brand of sweetness. I'm so excited about Susan's entrance into your life. I'd heard a hint from Mom before receiving your enthusiastic e-mail message today and can't wait to hear more.
Congratulations on your acceptance into Appalachian State — way to go! Keep that honesty a top priority, Griffy — it won't steer you wrong.
Know how much I love you and how proud I am of all you've accomplished in the past year — wow!
Much love, Aunt Pat
Subject: Cars and cash Date: 11/18/98 From: Mom To: David
'Morning, Davey. I'm picturing you finding a car soon — good car, good price, perfect for you. A cashier's check should arrive via Priority Mail on Thursday, the terms of interest and repayment as we agreed. I'm glad you decided against leasing a car. I just know "your" car is waiting for you. Keep me posted. If the loan helps you, and you are happy with the interest rate, then so is your mommy happy! Love and hugs to you and Pam.
Subject: Car Date: 11/20/98 From: Dad To: David Cc: Pat
Mom and I have discussed your car situation, as you know. I appreciate that you want a car you can enjoy and be proud of. But you need to weigh that with financial sensibility, what type of car you'll need in the near future, insurance, etc. There're so many other financial needs (buying a home!). My thoughts on borrowing: I know Mom volunteered, but I feel you could shop around and find excellent loan deals. I want you to be financially wise and comfortable, David. I don't know all aspects of your finances, and if I'm speaking with lack of knowledge, I apologize. Finally, you are a good son, of whom I am very proud. And thankful. I do realize what kind of guy you are, and I'm lucky to have you as a son.
Subject: Complications with cars Date: 11/22/98 From: Mom To: David Cc: Bob
David, I'm sorry you're having problems and feeling so stressed from the car situation and the overwhelming amount of work facing you. Some periods in life really do call for patience and fortitude, and this is one of those times for you. You know I've had a few!
All the advice, ideas and suggestions we older folk are giving out is only a way of showing our concern for a decision of yours we believe could turn out to cause you much more stress. It's easy to make a commitment for a certain model/priced car and only later realize it's going to be harder to handle than first thought. I've never voiced this before, but when I was looking for a car, and everyone was advising me to get a new car — whatever I wanted since I now had enough money — I liked and thought about buying a Buick Park Avenue but couldn't bring myself to spend $35,000 for it. Instead, I made a decision to give that much away and buy a car for exactly one-third that amount. And I'm happy with it — although one day I may still buy myself that dream car.
I guess what I want you to realize is that one is never too old to look forward to a deluxe, fancier car, but it's very possible to be open to being satisfied with less than your dream car if buying it puts an undue financial burden on you.
Heartfelt wishes for a better week, and much love to you, Davey.
November 22, 1998 Trinidad, West Indies
Orlando, Florida Dear Pat,
Yuletide greetings from the sunny isles of Trinidad and Tobago. Yes, Raemus has brought untold love to his grandparents. Naema is a wonderful mother and we are so happy for her.
We are looking toward the new millennium for peace on earth and goodwill to all. The world simply cannot continue along this pathway. We must all make our input to change the present course.
Regards to you and yours.
Love, Zakiya and Amril
P.S. — Hope you like the photos of Raemus and the pine field. Peace!
Subject: Welcome to Cyberspace Date: 11/27/98 From: Pat To: Betty
Thanks, "GiGi Betty," this cyberspace instant communication is fun, and certainly it's easier than ever to stay in touch with family and friends.
I still choke up when I think of those darling bambinos, Bo and Caroline, and how much I miss them. But I'm glad they have one grandmother nearby, and you're the lucky one in this case. Such beautiful children. Well, look at their parents, your lovely daughter and my handsome son.
We had a nice Thanksgiving, with a gathering of Florida kids and grandkids, and Bob and Joanne, too. Now our Christmas celebration will be soon, when Skip comes down in a couple of weeks. Help, I'm not ready!
Subject: Catch-up Date: 11/30/98 From: Mom-Pat To: Skip and Deborah
Glad you had a nice Thanksgiving with all of your family, Deb. GiGi Betty told me how Bo, on arrival, announced, "EAT, EAT." That little guy has the best appetite and is such a joy to feed. Heard, too, that after you both stayed up half the night to get your tree up and decorated, Bo's first reaction to the lighted tree was, "NO, OFF." That's funny.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Love of Lifeby Patsy Gilbert Coleman Copyright © 2011 by Patsy Gilbert Coleman. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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