This is How Love Works: 9 Essential Secrets You Need to Know

Perhaps love itself will always be a mystery. Why a relationship works or doesn't work, however, is not a total mystery. It is only a challenge that you can easily meet if you have the tools, starting with awareness as the key.

Prepare to sweat the small stuff--well, only if you want a loving, lasting partnership, that is. While Steven Carter admits that this and his other eight "secrets" to fostering successful relationships aren't all that surprising, he clearly illustrates how often couples neglect these essential elements in this excellent guide to making love work. Through numerous couple scenarios that sound sadly familiar ("Carla and Bryan moved in together one year ago, and ever since then they have been playing 'the thermostat game'"), Carter paints a vivid picture of relationships on the rocks. In chapters including "Make 'We' a Priority," "Take off the Masks," and "Fight Stereotypes," he reveals why partners fall into such destructive behaviors so darn easily; then he methodically shows how to reverse these behaviors to become a more authentic, team-spirited partner. Inspiring anecdotes about successful couples and their hard-won paths to richer relationships offer tangible steps for preventing and repairing relationship damage. Without any annoying psychobabble (no "dysfunctional" or "breakdown in communication" talk here), nor any clinical documentation, Carter simply questions, observes, and concludes--then shares his findings and offers very sensible suggestions. Perhaps his lack of any fancy psychology or sociology degree gives him that "man on the street" believability. Perhaps his 20 years of analyzing relationships has something to do with the weight of his words. Whatever the case, it's easy to understand why many of Carter's previous bestsellers, including Men Who Can't Love and What Smart Women Know, command such appeal. --Liane Thomas