Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way

Based upon the concept of Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's international bestseller, Loving in Flow combines the author's own experiences with studies of dozens of unusually happy long-term and married couples to discuss how compromise and communication, and being "in flow," are the keys to building solid and long-lasting relationships. Perry uses interviews and recent research to discuss every aspect of a relationship, from the initial meeting through childbearing and beyond. With uncommon candor, she tackles often-neglected subjects such as:
--Dealing with crazy-making habits
--Communicating about sex
--Solving the chore wars
--Making sense of infidelity
--Adjusting to the strain of parenthood
Loving in Flow spotlights the most successful couples and offers readers a practical and positive guide to getting more out of their relationships and helping them sustain a joyous love life that truly flows.

Perry, a social psychologist and the author of Writing in Flow: Keys to Enhanced Creativity, draws on the ups and downs in her own marriage as well as interviews with other couples, both straight and gay, to glean many of her insights in this detailed exploration of the complexity inherent in coupledom. In the "Coping With Conflict" chapter, for example, she advises readers to "Be a Weatherperson" ("Assess what else is going on in your lives that might be contributing to this particular clash"), and in the "Sex (More or Less)" chapter, she acknowledges that "it can be quite erotic to...share full-bodied laughter to the point of near-exhaustion." No doubt anyone who's ever been in a relationship will see themselves reflected in at least some of this book-after all, who hasn't argued over the housework? To demonstrate that everyone gets on his or her partner's nerves at times, Perry makes an inadvertently funny list of her husband's annoying habits, like "Jiggles his glass of ice cubes repeatedly" and "Mixes big and little spoons in the drawer when he puts silverware away." Perry admits the trivial nature of her gripes, but reminds readers that integrating "the positive and the negative is necessary to maintain an overall positive view of your partner." From that obvious assessment, Perry writes more specifically, providing engaging case studies and the lessons that can be learned from them. Perry handles more serious relationship challenges such as adultery, illness, and dealing with a partner's interest in pornography in a straightforward manner. Maintaining a healthy, happy relationship isn't easy, but Perry's methods, based on Michaly Csikszentmihalyi's concept of Flow, show that "a superior relationship...is achievable if you both want it enough."
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.