Man Enough: Fathers, Sons, and the Search for Masculinity

Examines the experience of growing up male and learning masculinity, the problems of maturing without a solid male role model, and the joys of submitting one's own masculinity into teamwork with other men and intimacy with a mate.

Being manly doesn't mean being macho, declares Atlanta-based psychiatrist Pittman ( Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy ). Here he explains the "masculine mystique" and suggests how men can overcome their obsession with masculinity, achieving greater happiness and intimacy with members of both sexes. The first section details three kinds of men afflicted by "masculopathy": philanderers (who can't make or keep commitments), contenders (who feel driven to compete) and controllers. The second section explains how men become masculopathic. Through sometimes humorous anecdotes and numerous references to films, Pittman explores such areas as father/son relationships, homophobia and the striving to separate from Mother (and thus, the "feminine"). Finally, he shows men how to shed the "mystique" through cooperation (as opposed to competition) and emulation (rather than envy); how to let go of the fear of women and the need to dominate them; and how to "raise themselves" through raising their children. A sensitive and reasonable guide for enlightened men--and those who want to be.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Atlanta psychiatrist Pittman (Private Lies, 1989) returns with an engaging, if not always convincing, assessment of the causes and cures of masculine inadequacy in America today. Citing a diminished patriarchy and patrimony as reasons for the difficulties modern men have in making the transition from sons to fathers, Pittman isolates three primary character types-- ``philanderers,'' ``contenders,'' and ``controllers''--as reflecting arrested or socially damaging development. Histories of the author's gym-buddies and cases from his family-therapy practice, specifics of a difficult relationship with his own father and of turbulent times with his son, and a dazzling array of references to popular cinema from Life with Father to Dances with Wolves help to illustrate these types, with a similar variety of examples used to examine the conditions necessary for becoming and being a ``man.'' When absent, overbearing fathers create men out of balance, Pittman says, equilibrium is attained only by understanding bonding and friendship, and, if necessary, by coming to terms with and forgiving one's parents. Men can then perceive women as equals and can ``join the team'' by working with others rather than by always striving to prove their masculinity. Long on personal anecdote but short on substantive analysis, and gushing with feel-good fixes from a seemingly bottomless reservoir; still, a witty, well-meaning consideration of a serious social problem. -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.