It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand

As seen in THE NEW YORK TIMES • READER'S DIGEST • SPIRITUALITY & HEALTH • HUFFPOST
 
Featured on NPR's RADIO TIMES and WISCONSIN PUBLIC RADIO

When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. “Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form,” says Megan Devine. “It is a natural and sane response to loss.”
 
So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible?
 
In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides―as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner―Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you’ll learn:
 
• Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief
• How challenging the myths of grief―doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold―allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve
• Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to “fix” your pain
• How to help the people you love―with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process
 
Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to “solve” grief. Megan writes, “Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution.” Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face―in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world.
 
It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves―and each other―better.

Mark Nepo is a poet and philosopher who has taught in the fields of poetry and spirituality for over 40 years. A New York Times #1 bestselling author, he has published 21 books and recorded 14 audio projects. Mark has been interviewed several times by Oprah Winfrey as part of her Super Soul Sunday TV show, and was interviewed by Robin Roberts on Good Morning America. As a cancer survivor, Mark devotes his writing and teaching to the journey of inner transformation and the life of relationship. His work has been translated into more than 20 languages. For more, see marknepo.com.

Mark Nepo is a poet and spiritual teacher who has taught in the fields of poetry and spirituality for over 50 years. With over a million copies sold, Mark has moved and inspired readers and seekers all over the world with his #1 New York Times bestseller The Book of Awakening. A beloved poet, teacher, and storyteller, Mark has been called “one of the finest spiritual guides of our time,” “a consummate storyteller,” and “an eloquent spiritual teacher.” His work is widely accessible and his books have been translated into more than twenty languages.

A bestselling-author, Mark has published twenty-six books and recorded fifteen audio projects. His newest book, The Fifth Season: Creativity in the Second Half of Life (St. Martin's Essentials, July 2025) celebrates living from the inside of the one life we’re given. Other recent books include You Don't Have to Do It Alone: The Power of Friendship (St. Martin's Essentials, July 2024), which explores the value of community, offering a joyous affirmation of one of the most important aspects of being human: friendship; Falling Down and Getting Up (St. Martin's Essentials, September 2023); The Half-Life of Angels: Three Books of Poems (Freefall Books, April 2023), which earned a Gold Nautilus Award for Poetry; Surviving Storms: Finding the Strength to Meet Adversity (St. Martin's. Essentials, 2022); The Book of Soul (St. Martin’s Essentials, 2020), which was honored by Spirituality & Practice as one of the Best Spiritual Books of 2020, and received a Gold Nautilus Award; Drinking from the River of Light (Sounds True, 2019), earned an Independent Publisher Book Silver Award for Self Help 2020, and a 2019 Nautilus Silver Award for Personal Growth & Self Help; and More Together Than Alone (Atria, 2018) cited by Spirituality & Practice as one of the Best Spiritual Books of 2018.

In 2015, Mark received a Life-Achievement Award from AgeNation. In 2016, he was named as one of Watkins Mind Body Spirit magazine's 100 Most Spiritually Influential Living People and was also named to OWN’s SuperSoul 100, a group of awakened leaders, visionaries, and trailblazers. Mark appeared multiple times on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday on OWN and joined her The Life You Want tour in 2014. He has been interviewed by Mel Robbins for her podcast, Hoda Kotb for Today.com, and Robin Roberts for Good Morning America.

In his thirties Mark was diagnosed with a rare form of lymphoma, a struggle which helped to form his philosophy of experiencing life fully while staying in relationship to an unknowable future. Mark devotes his writing and teaching to the journey of inner transformation and the life of relationship. He continues to offer readings, lectures, and retreats. He is represented by William Morris Endeavor Entertainment.