Memories That Matter: How to Use Self-Defining Memories to Understand and Change Your Life

Who are you? Your family background, line of work, and cultural beliefs may situate you within different social groups, but the memories you have of your life experiences are what truly make you unique. These self-defining memories can be powerful tools for change, giving you invaluable inspiration and guidance. On the other hand, self-defeating memories can interfere with your goals, control your moods, and rob you of your capacity for happiness and enjoyment. The trick is to maximize the power of your positive memories and minimize the influence of your negative ones.

This book offers a simple, step-by-step program that will guide you to identify and explore the memories that define the real you. With nothing more than a journal, a pen, and a willingness to look deeply into your own personal story, this book will help you make your past into a prologue for a better future.

As you explore the most important experiences of your past, you’ll uncover powerful insights into who you are. Use these secrets to:

• Understand repetitive relationship patters
• Achieve important life goals
• Foster deeper personal meaning
• Challenge the limits of your creativity
• Nurture intimacy with loved ones and friends

Jefferson A. Singer, Ph.D., is professor of psychology at Connecticut college in New London, CT. He received his Ph.D. from Yale University. He has spent the past two decades researching emotionally significant memories and their role in personality. He is a recipient of the Fulbright Distinguished Scholar Award, which has funded his research on self-defining memories at Durham University in Durham, England. He has served as associate editor of Contemporary Psychology and is past-associate editor of the Journal of Personality and is on the editorial board of the Review of General Psychology. He is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association and the 2005 recipient of the Theodore R. Sarbin Award for Distinguished Contributions to Narrative Psychology, given by Division Twenty-Four, the Society for Theoretical and Philosophical Psychology, of the American Psychological Association.

Foreword writer Peter Salovey, Ph.D., is the Chris Argyris Professor of Psychology at Yale University and dean of Yale College eat Yale University in New Haven, CT.