Misbehavior of the Would-Be Wife

So what's the matter with you?! why are you still single? why are you single again? why are you married again? where are the kids? & uh... uh... that's not your wife... There's no exception to the rule: we're all idiots. We've fallen in love; we finally talk the correct name in our sleep; so we get hitched, though this is probably a good time to scream Out of the frying pan & into the fire! Marriage is scary, awe-producing, holy, but mostly scary. Desi Hunt, of Misbehavior of the Would-Be Wife, is a housewife but behaves like a typographical error against the backdrop of all traditions: the almost-always-there-but-not-like-really-there-housewife kind of deal. It's like a curse: no one knows what's wrong with her. Apparently, not everyone can do marriage. Desi is completely unmarriageable at the moment: not cool with God right now, being sort of clinically allergic to relationships & stuff. She's been forced [seriously] to crave chastity as a side effect of banging her head on the wall for some bloody answers to Why Marry? Her married life has been an anecdote of the shaggy dog: long, rambling, irrational behavior, & finally an irrelevant conclusion. So what is up with Desi & marriage? For everyone else who's relatively normal compared to her, before marriage equals going to bed with your wife from day number one, just so that you know: marriage is a way of life. True we're only human, we all make mistakes: we can count them by the number of crushed hearts, cold tears, severed relationships, forgotten prayers... Just maybe, for crying out loud, we're willing to fail that many times to understand, & that's huge.

Once upon an unfortunate time, in another life before she was a writer & a stay-at-home-mom, Shawn got this idea she ought to study business, whose brilliant presence she might offer to greatly benefit the entire global business world... so she did: graduated on all four legs, from the University of Maryland in College Park. Eventually, thank God, she felt if she was the biggest glittery thing around in the glittery world of business management, she was going to lose the meaning of the trade, or of life - given she knows deep down that she was meant to do something else. Being extreme, she made one good bonfire [figuratively] out of her encyclopedia-sized accounting textbooks [easily 75 stinkin' bucks per volume] & mountains of incomprehensible genius notes, with no regret. Down the road, she promises to never stop laughing, praying, or singing like a heretic, & find something funny in everyone: these are some of her highly unreliable, strategically questionable, seasonally faulty device of success & self-preservation... Shawn works & resides in Indianapolis.